Hey moms I am a man and I need women perspective on this? I am Black man

Aime - posted on 01/27/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




I met this woman online about 18 months ago. She lives in different state like 200 miles away . After 4 meetings and a couple sexual encounters, she announced she was pregnant. I was disappointed because she told me she was under birth control. So, I suggested abortion because we have just met. At that time, this lady hasn't even visited me at my in place, in NY. She refused to get the abortion and told me she didn't believe in abortion so I accepted it and we agreed to just make it a family. I had a son from a previous marriage that I am raising alone, and she has 2 daughters from 2 other men. We planned to consolidate the family his coming summer. Now, since October I started to notice a complete withdrawal from my lady..She started to disrespect me, talking to me any kind of ways, calling me names including my son. For example, she will say things like " fuck you Ben, fuck your retard son, fuck your raggedy house and your lousy job etc.." The first couple of times I was shocked and called her on it. She apologized and recognized that she was over reacting and agreed to leave the kids out whenever we're arguing. She didn't stop. She became increasingly disrespectful and condescending. Every time something doesn't go her way, she will argue and fight hard. I started to notice she is not picking up my calls. When I call even in the evening, she wont pick up her cell, or her home phone and her 14 year old wont pick up either. She will call way way later like past midnight with attitude that she can't believe why I get mad when i don't get her on the phone and she will flip it on me to the point I will become uncomfortable. Now on Christmas day I visited her for the holiday and we had sex and perform oral sex on each other etc...We also talk about our issues and made new planned for the new year. Then left. I came back to NY. on New Year's eve asked to send her some money to have a Pizza party with the kids and that she will call me on midnight. I sent moneygram and she picked it up at 9:30 PM but she never called me at midnight as she promised. Instead, she text-ed me the next day "Happy New Year". I was disappointed and asked her what happened? As always, she argued me to death that she fell asleep and that she has a right to do so...Long story short, I started to ask her if she is seeing someone else, because I don't get it. We have a 5 months old baby and we're supposed to be trying to get alone in order to move in together. I started to feel she was pushing me away. So, finally 2 weeks after another heated argument, I asked again what is wrong ? and she texted me another man's erected dick (a white man) with words " hey black ass bitch this is my new man" now get lost. I was shocked. She also said among other thighs " Hey , by the way last time we had sex, your tongue was all in that man's cumm, how does that taste? l asked her if she understood what she is doing is disrespectful and that she didn't need to treat me this way. We have a 5 month old baby between us. She said she didn't care and that I should stop calling her and texting her... I obliged since that day and never texted her back. Now this past Sunday She sent me another pic of her finger with an engagement ring on... I didn't replied. since that time she never stopped texted me her finger picture with mockeries...
Moms, i am so hurt right now I don't know what to do. Here we are with a 5 months old baby girl , that I wanted to raise but this lady has 3 babies from 3 men and she behaving this way???
I was sending her $200 a week to help out with childcare, now 2 weeks ago she told me she filed child support on me... I suspected something was going on but I wasn;t sure until it hates me in the face. She is now saying she will tell my daughter I never wanted her etc....
Any advise moms??


Michelle - posted on 01/27/2015




Firstly, make sure you establish paternity. You don't if the child is yours 100%.
Secondly, NEVER believe a woman when she says she's on BC, you should always be using a condom to prevent diseases as well as pregnancy.
Thirdly, get away from her and don't expect anything more. She's got 3 children from 3 different men, that YELLS that she isn't the type to settle down.
Don't answer her calls/texts and even block her number if you have to.

Before paying support make sure you get a DNA test done and go from there. If the child is yours then you will have to pay but you want to make sure you aren't paying for someone else's child.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/27/2015




You've got parental rights, so counter file! She can only attempt to alienate you if you stop communicating, so don't give her that chance. Let her file, and you counter file, and try to come up with a happy median that you can co parent and each have quality time with your little one.


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