hey mums, my boyfriend just told me that ever since i have given brith on our child i have become to wet for him, and now he also toldd me that he has sleept with another women two times. i dont know what to do cause i love him and my family love him. what can i do please help me
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Kelsey - posted on 03/08/2013
I think you're being too gracious by giving him a second chance. It's going to drive you nuts wondering where he's at all the time and who is he texting or hanging out with. He should be home, with you and his baby. Not out, sleeping around. I think it's a mistake, and eventually down the road; you're going to get hurt. You need to think about what's good for you and your baby because obviously he isn't. I hope you realize one day before you have another baby with his jerk; that you're wasting your time being in love with him. Because he doesn't deserve you or your baby in his life. You should sit down and think before you jump the gun on forgiving him. Some couples can move past it and some couples can't.
Also, what kind of guy complains that you're too wet for him? Usually, guys like that.
Kelsey - posted on 03/07/2013
The question is, do you feel like you can trust him again after he cheated on you? Yes, you love him and your family loves him BUT if you can't trust him there's no point in being in a relationship with him. You can't have a relationship without trust!
Real, to honest men who love the woman they have; would NOT cheat on you. Just the fact that he cheated, says in his actions that he DOESN'T care about you or your feelings or even the relationship you to have. He doesn't love you and my opinion is you're setting yourself up for terrible heartbreak if you don't do something about his cheating now. Whether it's going to counseling or talking things out or even kicking his cheating butt to the crib. Which, is what I would do and I did with my ex.
If you don't nip this in the bud now, he will cheat again. There are some questions you have to ask yourself while he's sleeping around; Like, is he using protection? You don't know if he's "double dipping" (that's what I call it) He could bring something home to you.
It obvious that you and that baby isn't a priority to him since he's out slutting around. The question is, how long are you going to deal with it? If you don't stand up for yourself now; you'll only get hurt. Changing the way you look won't help. Him cheating on you; it's something wrong with him, not you.
Your boyfriend can still have the child in his life. There's no rule saying otherwise. My advice though, get custody, visitation, child support figured out through the courts. If you don't have the funds to do so, there should be state paid attorneys to help you.
I'm sorry that he cheated. But remember it's your health on the line too and there's no guarantee that he won't do it again. He's only sorry because he got caught.
Amy - posted on 03/07/2013
You need to find a counselor and work on your esteem issues. Why should you have to change the way you look for someone else. If you want to do it for yourself then do it but don't do it for your boyfriend. He doesn't love you, if he did he never would of cheated on you, so you need to decide if you want to love someone who doesn't love you back. And your baby can still have him in her life, but he doesn't need to be in yours.
Michelle - posted on 03/07/2013
I would leave him. He has no respect for what your body has gone through to provide him with a child. He doesn't deserve to be loved because it sounds like he doesn't love you at all.
You would be better off being a single Mum than having your self esteem trodden on from him.
Noluthando - posted on 03/07/2013
Michelle i understand it just that i love him, on the other hand i don't want me baby to grow up without him. he really did disrespected me in that way, everytime when i ask him if he is in this relationship for the kid he says no. one thing i know he tells it straight when he doesn't went to be in it.
i was thinking if i should change my looks or give him more attn or what i real don't know what to do or want anymore
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