Taylor De - posted on 12/28/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




So, i just ask that no one judges me. Im here for a reason and so are all of you. I am 17 years old, and i want to have a baby. Problem is, i have no way to get pregnant. Now, i havent made any effort to considering i want it to be with the right guy. And i want to make sure this is something i really want. I am bi sexual and i met this girl about 2 years ago and weve been together for a year and half of that. She wants one just as much as i do(maybe even more!) And i guess im just concerned of what my life will be like? I mean, i try to prepare myself for all the risks and responsabilities but will i ever be fully ready? I am abnormally mature for my age. When i see a 17 year old acting stupid and like a teen should i just look at them in shame and pitty. I never really got the chance to be a kid and yet ive never really made my own decisions. I crave that change. That life challenge! Idk. I guess i just want to know what its like? Maybe make a friend or two who wont judge me for my decision and who can walk me through all of this. My gf and i are trying next month. We domt know how long it will take but i believe we are ready for this. I am now engaged and waiting to be married in february. Please, if theres anyone who understands and wants to talk to me just email me at ttnnff44@gmail.com


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Angela - posted on 12/28/2013





"...... prepare myself for all the risks and responsabilities but will i ever be fully ready? I am abnormally mature for my age. When i see a 17 year old acting stupid and like a teen should i just look at them in shame and pitty ....."

I wouldn't say you're "abnormally mature" for your age. My own spelling & grammar standards were far better than yours at the age of 11.

If you were heterosexual and about to marry some guy, we'd not only be telling you to wait a while before starting a family, we'd also be telling you to hold off on the wedding itself!

But assuming you're both happy, in love and ready to commit, why not simply take some joy in EACH OTHER? Enjoy the time you have as a couple before starting to breed.

If and when you decide to start a family, PLEASE go through the official route of sperm donor banks etc ....

Too many female couples use some man who generally doesn't know what he's getting into. Favourite ploy is to find some young, healthy, over-sexed guy who doesn't look too closely at having a sexual romp with no apparent strings attached (and frequently as part of a 3-in-a-bed scenario!). Unfortunately, quite a lot of older, more mature men are also drawn into this situation without any judgement or careful consideration.

The female couple often like to have a child each so they'll use the same guy - that way their kids are biological half-siblings. My friend's 19 year old was set up like this and now has to pay child support for a couple of kids he didn't even know were the planned outcome of his carefree sexual adventure.

Not saying you'd do this but obviously you're only 17. So going through the official channels takes time, money and evaluation from the doctors, counsellors etc that run these sperm banks. And there's likely to be a minimum age for candidates who take part in the program. It'll be a fair bit older than 17, I'm guessing.

Please do not be tempted to go the "cheap, fast & easy" route.

You're playing with people's lives here.

Please think about what I have said. Good luck for the future!

Michelle - posted on 12/28/2013




Have you guys chosen a sperm donor? Have you decided who is going to carry the child?
This is all on top of what Gena said. Having a baby is a life changing decision, especially for a same sex couple. You are still so young, there's no need to rush into having children. It would be best to make sure you have plenty of savings before 1 of you has to stop working because like Gena has pointed out, babies aren't cheap and the expense only increases as they get older.

ETA: I just reread your post and you make no sense at the start. You say you have no way to get pregnant and that you are waiting for the right guy and then you have been in a relationship with a women for 1.5 years and are going to try and get pregnant from next month. You don't make sense at all.

Gena - posted on 12/28/2013




Somethings you have to look at are.. Do you and your gf have a job, enough money and a place to stay.Who would look after the child,or would you both go work.Do you have a good income thats stable because a child costs.There are alot of things they need that cost sometimes things you dont think about befor having a child.You think about thr crib they need but forget that 2years later they need a big bed,with bigger sheets and duvets..all things like that cost money.You say you are mature for your age,but have you thought about the whole responsebility it takes to have a child.Its not just a baby thats cute,it grows and their needs grow to.There will be nights where you get almost no sleep and you then still have to function the next day,there will be days the child is teething and is fussy,then there are days when you would like to go shopping with a toddler,its not like you just take the kid and have fun shopping because they like to run around,grab everything and can also throw tantrums.Its a 24hour responsebilty having a child,i am not saying that they dont give alot of love back and do or say the cutest things but the reality is its not always easy.
You are 17... Why dont you wait abit and first do stuff with your gf,like go and travel or have nice holidays(holidays are fun with a kid but you cant really relax at the beach for example you always have to keep an eye on the kid,make sure he/she isnt in the sun to much get everything packed to change clothes etc)
I think the best advice i can give you is to wait... Dont rush with growing up to much,you can still have a baby in a couple of years.

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