hi everyone im 22yrs old i have a son his dad left us in my country belize where we both met and grew up together. he is from london and grew up in a military family, after we got pregnant we moved in together with my family and evertything was ok wasn't the best but it was good and it felt right. both our families are very close and when we started to find money to be a bit tight we decided that he army would be a good idea. he left about a yr now and still no army career lets just say he sold me this dream clean, at the time i was all up for it thinking we would give our family the best chance at a great life not knowing i had just singed a contract to his free ride out of being here with us. my family had always provided everything . my son is now 3yrs old and my dad is the one that pays his school fees mediscal and all the things that comes with having children. my ex's brother has taken over the father role. we were still very much together and in love about 3mths back and on guy fox night he broke up with me and said everything hurtful that anyone could think of to me things like im brain washing my son into not liking him or the classic i hate u B****. and i was so lost and what happen and i still cant get over it i know he loves me and his son but he isn't doing his part or making an effort to be here for us he has just gotten into another relationship with another girl who also has a child of her own, i still love and want him here with me even after all the hurt he has put me and my son through i feel like i need him around and i know my son doest know him, truth be told my son knows the word dad but hasn't a clue what he means or what it feels like. my ex's brother is 20yrs old and that the closes thing he has to a father. by dad pays our bills and my family would even send him money when times were hard for him in the uk. my question to all the moms out there younger and older was he using me and my family did he really love us he says he does and i want to believe him but im so lost and hurt and i still cant get over him being there with the new girl and her child but not his own. he tells me he loves me and this girl means nothing to him but has he hurt our family like this. i gave him everything he didnt even send our son and xmas gift hasnt given me one dollar to our son school or anything and yet i believed him when he said he would make it in the forces for us. i dislike him so much and think of him as a coward but i love and miss him and still want him close for my son. how can i get over this or will he come back? please help me

Janine G - posted on 12/29/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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hi everyone im 22yrs old i have a son his dad left us in my country belize where we both met and grew up together. he is from london and grew up in a military family, after we got pregnant we moved in together with my family and evertything was ok wasn't the best but it was good and it felt right. both our families are very close and when we started to find money to be a bit tight we decided that the army would be a good idea. he left about a yr now and still no army career lets just say he sold me this dream clean, at the time i was all up for it thinking we would give our family the best chance at a great life not knowing i had just singed a contract to his free ride out of being here with us. my family had always provided everything . my son is now 3yrs old and my dad is the one that pays his school fees mediscal and all the things that comes with having children. my ex's brother has taken over the father role. we were still very much together and in love about 3mths back and on guy fox night he broke up with me and said everything hurtful that anyone could think of to me things like im brain washing my son into not liking him or the classic i hate u B****. and i was so lost at what happen and i still cant get over it i know he loves me and his son but he isn't doing his part or making an effort to be here for us he has just gotten into another relationship with another girl who also has a child of her own, i still love and want him here with me even after all the hurt he has put me and my son through i feel like i need him around and i know my son doest know him, truth be told my son knows the word dad but hasn't a clue what he means or what it feels like. my ex's brother is 20yrs old and thats the closes thing he has to a father. by dad pays our bills and my family would use to send him money when times were hard for him in the uk. my question to all the moms out there younger and older was he using me and my family did he really love us he says he does and i want to believe him but im so lost and hurt and i still cant get over him being there with the new girl and her child but not his own. he tells me he loves me and this girl means nothing to him but has he hurt our family like this. i gave him everything he didnt even send our son and xmas gift hasn't given me one dollar to our son's school fees or anything keeping in mind that i dont work and he HAD a job. i believed him when he said he would make it in the forces for us. i dislike him so much and think of him as a coward but i love and miss him and still want him close for my son. how can i get over this or will he come back? please help me and as for me not working i would love a job but my father wont allow me he says thats not how life works that i should be at home raising my son and he will provide for us. he as recently agreed for me to open my own business where by i can spend all my free time with my son. i guess i really dont need him in our life but i will i ever stop loving him?
here is to all of the moms who get to be mommy daddy teacher and best friend. many blessings to you all

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Lacye - posted on 12/30/2012

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Honey, I hate to tell you but the man couldn't give two shits about you and your son. He has been showing you this time and time again. He is using you and your family for money and a free ride. It would be best for you and your son to let him go. Stop all contact with him as much as possible, unless it concerns to your son and even then, only the important things. Otherwise, just move on with your life. He's not worth the heart ache.

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