Hi Fellow Mothers, I am Married but have been seperated 9 months. I have a 9 year old Daughter and a 6 year old Son.

Catherine - posted on 01/22/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My 9 year old Daughter is asking to go and live with her Daddy. Of course I don't want this to happen as I don't want to seperate my children (my Son wants to stay with me) so I'm really stuck. Her Daddy has told her she can go live with him!! Which is really annoying as I've told him how I feel. I'm just unsure where I stand not Only legally regarding this but also mentally. Will I be pushing her away if I did my heels in and say no? Am I even entitled by law to say no?!

Fellow Mothers, help me!!

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User - posted on 01/22/2015

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In the past (when he was 8) I tell my son in the past is when he is the right age he can have that choice. Right now it is up to your parents where you should live. He doesn't ask anymore and he's 10. Here he could make that choice at 12 yrs old. I've come to terms with what ever he chooses at that time.
The adults in the situation should stay neutral, so I'd have a conversation with your ex and come to an understanding that you say the same when she does ask.
In regards to separating the two children, that needs to be explained un-biasedly to your daughter when she is of age to understand.
If you have a court agreement you should go by it till you change it legally. If you don't have a legal agreement I would suggest you do get one.
In the end it is the adults in the situation that make the choice of where the children live. And if the adults cant agree than it is a judge.

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Catherine - posted on 01/22/2015

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Hey thanks for your reply. Much appreciated. We have no legal or binding agreement. We are still married and have to wait over year for a divorce. I could not afford any solicitor as I only work part time in order to care for them. At present I allow to her stay over with her Daddy whenever she wants. My son rarely wants to stay. He has a new partner and she spoils my Daughter, as do my 'ex' inlaws. I think this is what it all boils down to.
It's so hard to make these types of decisions isn't it?
Is your kid happy now? How often does he see Daddy? Do you have regular and maintained routines with regards to seeing his Daddy? It's all so new, fresh and random at the moment.

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