Hiring a nanny etiquette

S - posted on 07/09/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )




I am trying to hire a nanny for my daughter before I go back to school next month. I just encountered a situation that threw me for a loop. I'm setting up interview for tomorrow and after almost two weeks of coorespondence one of the girls at the last minute tells me she has no intention on providing references and/or background check until after being hired because she doesn't just give her reference's personal information to "just anybody".

I had to pause for a second because that doesn't seems right. If i used sittercity, care.com or several other reputable sources I would see her references and background check BEFORE i even scheduled an interview. She then said that she had no intention on doing a secondary interview and that it was a waste of her time, we should know from the first interview whether we intend to hire her or not.

Wow.....what a way to talk to someone who could hire you. In my ad i indicated that I would do one sit down interview, that I would need to see references and that I would check them and that I would also require a second interview (paid) to observe interaction between my daughter and the nanny as well as go over specifics of her care.

Yall be honest, is it me? Am I asking too much or is this common sense? How can I hire someone based off of their word alone, without references, verifying who they say they are and that they are not a molestor or anything else--much less trust this person in my home. It seems to me as the person doing the hiring that if I said my requirements upfront they have the choice to apply or not. What do you think, and what have been your experiences?


S - posted on 07/09/2010




No worries ladies, I have no intention on hiring this woman. I was just so caught off guard about her response that I decided to post. I had to take a few breaths before I politely informed her that I would not be running people thru my home without having verified their references first and that this obviously would not be a good fit.

Lisbeth - posted on 07/09/2010




Speaking as ex nanny now a sahm I would not hire this woman. She will be the one taking care of your most priceless possession, along with most likely be a part of your family ( as any good nanny and employer know). Do you really want some one with that attitude watching your kid, teaching your kid that kind of attitude ( which your child will pick up). I always tell the parent that I would like a first interview to see if we are a good match, then following that if they choose to hire me I would like to ease into the position so the first day the stay all day so I get a run down of everything and a second day they stay for half the day or come back for half the day and finally the third day I do it alone. This will not only give your child comfort in meeting this person more than once before having to stay with them but let your nanny get to know you and your child. Always I repeat Always get references and a criminal check b4 you hire anyone.

Michelle - posted on 07/09/2010




I wouldn't hire a nanny that refused to give to give references at an interview, nor would I hire one that appears to have a problem with her attitide. I personally don't think you're asking too much and, if it was me, I would look elsewhere.

Iridescent - posted on 07/09/2010




I wouldn't want a nanny with that attitude, regardless of pristine references which she won't release. See ya (to her), on to the next candidate.

Andrea - posted on 07/09/2010




I would never hire anyone that didn't what to met my requirements up front. Once some one told me that I probably say ok goodbye.

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Cher - posted on 01/09/2013




I am a nanny with over 8 yrs experience and i can tell you this is wrong what she said.
You are meant to feel comfortable with the person that you are leaving alone with your children and how are you meant to feel comfortable with her when she spoke to you like that. Its funny how she called it "private personal information" when this days people give out more details than that over facebook. When she apply for a job at a childcare center she would have to give them her personal details resume and references before they hired her so it should be the same for you.

Katherine - posted on 07/09/2010




Wow, that's unreal. I would have told her where to go honestly. You don't say that to a prospective employer! It's not you.

Tracy - posted on 07/09/2010




Yeah, she'll be jobless for a while with that nasty bit of attitude. What parent in their right mind would be ok with that? You just keep trusting your mom instincts!

Karen - posted on 07/09/2010




i'm with andrea - would definately not be wasting my time to interview her. personally , i look after children in my home and when i have someone even call looking for care, i immediatley send/give them my references or any other information they want before they even decide if they want to do an interview. i say keep looking - the care and safety of your child requires people being looked into before being trusted with her care and if she's not willing to have that happen it makes me a little suspicious...good luck!

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