His Parents!!

Trish - posted on 11/29/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have my boyfriends parents coming to stay tomorrow for 5 days! After bending over backwards to make them feel welcome, his mother makes it point blank obvious to me that she indirectly blames me for her son and his previous wife (the ex) marriage breaking up!

She doesn't know she had about 4 affairs which was the cause of their breakup! He is too embarressed to tell his parents that his ex-wife did this, so he leaves it as it is.. with his mom thinking I came along and broke the marriage up, as we met shortly after they went their separate ways!

She is rude, condecending and always makes a point of bringing up his ex wife's name when I am in her company..

How do I get through the next 5 days without faling apart?


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Trish - posted on 11/30/2012




I know you are right.. things ahve been tense between us lately, and I don't want to rock to boat, but you are right, the long and the short of it is, that he is being a coward and wants his parent to see him in this perfect light, as they still have this glowing idea of his ex and I am the maid who is running around, making them feel welcome, and serving them hand and foot while they stay with me..

I don't want to make it too obvious regarding my feelings towards them, as their last visit just confirmed they they just don't like me..

He rarely sees them, and like to "play nicely and we all have fun", and avoid any issues.. for me, I am screaming inside.. as deep down I know this relationship can't and won't work if he cant be honest to the, in the long run, defend and protect me...

Mary - posted on 11/30/2012




In this situation, the true person at fault is your boyfriend. While I'm not justifying his mother's behavior, you have to see that the root of her ill-feelings towards you are based on the fact that he was not upfront with her about why his first marriage failed. It's not so much that he owes her a full or detailed explanation of his ex's behavior, but if he has allowed his parents to believe that his meeting you was in any way a contributing factor in why he and his ex could not work things out - that's on him.

If he is unwilling to dig up old hurts or take a blow to his pride to clarify their understanding of what destroyed his marriage, I guess that's his right. However, he should be absolutely clear that any mistreatment or rudeness to you is intolerable. I personally would be less bothered by the mother's attitude towards you; it is based on misinformation. What would bother me most is my partner's unwillingness or inability to address it.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/30/2012




Why would you have then stay with you if she does not like you? I would sit down with your BF and explain that he really needs to tell his mom. BUT she already feels a certain way towards you, and unfortunately this may not change how she treats you. Try to be as hospitable as you can be. In laws can be tricky. Show her you are a good person, and eventually she will have a change of heart towards you....hopefully.

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