Hissing and Growling noises and when I'm upset he just laughs at me

Susie - posted on 01/07/2016 ( 10 moms have responded )

5

0

1

I'm not sure what to do anymore, I've tried everything possible. My son won't listen to a word I say, and when I speak he hisses at me, Growls at me and then also laughs at me when I'm upset. I'm so lost and just don't know what to do!!!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Michelle - posted on 01/08/2016

4,234

8

3247

******************Mod warning*****************
Please ladies, stop with the back and forth bickering.


Susie: People are going to ask you questions to be able to try and help further, please don't take those questions the wrong way. When we don't know what you have tried then how are we supposed help. If you don't give us the information we can't really help but probably suggest things you have done and not told us.
It's not normal behaviour for a 12yo though so I would suggest seeing a behavioural specialist as well.
You haven't said what tests he has had though.

Jodi - posted on 01/07/2016

3,562

36

3907

"if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all!!! Did your parents never teach you that because you out right telling me if I'm offended that this isn't the place for me, that is basically pushing me out the door!!!!"

YOU started it. You should try taking your own advice there. I merely asked some questions and was trying to help.

YOU are the one who came at me all offended. I was trying to help. I don't know why I bothered. You were just outright rude.

10 Comments

View replies by

Dove - posted on 01/08/2016

12,148

0

1353

What is he doing to get in trouble in the first place (before the growling and stuff)?

If he's hissing and growling... send him off to his room until he can speak like a 12 year old. If he hasn't been fully evaluated by a mental health professional... he should be. If he HAS... tell him he can sit in his room (w/ everything other than clothes, books, and stuff to write or draw) until he can speak to you like a normal human being.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/08/2016

21,273

9

3058

Susie, have you tried ignoring him? I know that might sound silly, but ignore him. Walk away. Yes, keep his xbox, yes do what you need to do. But further discussing this with him isn't helping. When he does it, just walk away. Don't respond to him until he talks to you respectfully. If you get upset (we all do) maybe go for a 10 minute walk just to clear your head. It really helps me when I can. He definitely is doing this to probably be silly, and sees your reaction and feeds on it. Ignoring it takes that power from him.

Jodi - posted on 01/08/2016

3,562

36

3907

My apologies, Michelle. I have edited my post a little. But honestly, I wish people would stop coming on here and getting all butt hurt when we don't understand anything about what they posted because they don't give us any information to go with and we just do the best we can with what they gave us!

American - posted on 01/08/2016

176

0

8

Has he been evaluated by a behavioural specialist? That's where I would start. If there is no medical reason for this behaviour then it is most likely being done for attention. I have had a bit of disrespect by my middle son and I learned if I don't react then he shuts up! He has threatened to hit me and all I said was that would be your biggest mistake ever. I won't argue with him. I say what I have to say....tell him end of conversation and walk away. Sometimes it's hard because your standing there with some punk kid tryin to push you around and you really have to not react in a negative manner. Calm environment calms the behaviour and when you get all upset it just adds fuel to his fire. Walk away and have a minute of alone time....and when things have calmed down address the issue. Being a mom is an emotional rollercoaster and very challenging but has a lot of rewards and honey they don't come with an instruction book so we live and learn. Don't by any means let this child see that his behaviour makes you get upset like that cause he will only continue the behaviour. Ignore this hissing and growling kinda like you would ignore a two year old who is throwing a kicking screaming fit. If you don't react they learn that by acting that way they get nothing. Sometimes it's easy to forget as they get older and bolder that we still need to keep it simple. NO XBOX! STOP GIVING IN. I used to and it was rough but sometimes tough love is needed. My son will turn 19 Saturday and he will turn 19 in jail with no visit from mom cause of the way he talked to me last time I visited(haven't been to visit in 2 weeks and was going twice a week) and I won't go back. I will not tolerate his disrespect. He needs some tough love and mom's giving him a spoonful.

Susie - posted on 01/07/2016

5

0

1

I don't know what kind of Consequence to give him any more I just don't know what to do, Grounding him from things he enjoys certainly isn't working. He asked me tonight what it would take for him to be able to play Xbox, and he says apologizing and all I said was I don't know how many more times I can do that and I get the same attitude over and over again so I suggested that he needs to come up with a plan because I don't know. Holy lady Chill out, this is my First time on here, I take offence to this garbage!!!

If you are offended by the above question in addition to my other questions, I would suggest you are in the wrong place to seek advice, because all I am doing is trying to seek information.

Yes I have had him at a doctor, and they always say that the tests come back normal so now you tell me what else am I suppose to do, no need to push people away, if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all!!! Did your parents never teach you that because you out right telling me if I'm offended that this isn't the place for me, that is basically pushing me out the door!!!!

Maybe someone else can offer better advice than you can, not every human being is alike. But thanks I will go seek advice from someone else!!!

Jodi - posted on 01/07/2016

3,562

36

3907

I think you missed my point. Being upset is NOT a consequence for your child. It is actually a pay-off. Hence why, even if I am upset, I try not to show it. I was just asking to see if there is some kind of consequence rather than the pay-off of him getting you upset.

Belittled? How did I belittle you? I just asked a bunch of questions because you didn't actually give a great deal of information. Geez! You want decent advice, give out some decent information, toherwise we have to work with what we've got.

I have another question. I hope this one doesn't offend you too.......at 12 years old, behaving like this, have you ever had him assessed or diagnosed with any behavioural or mental disorder? This is not normal 12 year old behaviour.

If you are offended by the above question in addition to my other questions, I would suggest you are in the wrong place to seek advice, because all I am doing is trying to seek information.

Susie - posted on 01/07/2016

5

0

1

yes that is all you do as a parent is get upset? as a Parent do you ever get upset at your Child I'm sure you do, He is 12 and yes I do get upset at my Children it is part of Human nature. I've done everything possible that you can think of and when it is done constantly yes it would bother you and anyone else for that matter, I didn't come on here to be belittled but to see if there are others that have experienced this kind of behaviour from there children and as to why and what they did!!! Why am I getting upset what as a parent do you do not to get upset when it is a regular thing, every parent gets overwhelmed sooner or later!!! It isn't an easy task when I can't seem to break the habit, it is happening at school as well and guess what his teacher is getting upset as well!!!

Jodi - posted on 01/07/2016

3,562

36

3907

Why are you showing you are upset in front of him? He is using that to his advantage by the sound of it, he can tell he is upsetting you and so that why he does it. What are his consequences for not listening? You just get upset? How old is he?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms