Hopeless mom please help with daughter

Kasey - posted on 11/20/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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My daughter is 11 and in middle school. We are always arguing and fighting like sisters so my husband says anyway. No matter what we do whether it be just us two for a girls day or all of us as a family me and her end up either mad or crying. I know she is going through some changes and try to remember that and We have sat down and talked civil about everything but we both get nowhere. She tells me she feels overwhelmed with a simple task like trying to find something to wear or me telling her to do more than one thing at a time like Natalie you have exactly an hour before the school bus is here you need to brush your teeth put shoes on and fix your hair. She has a complete melt down she will go to her room and forget what all I have just told her. She says I give her too many things to do at once but I should not even have to tell her to fix her hair brush your teeth. She is slow as A turtle on a hot summer day in the desert it's like she has no sense for time whatsoever which drives me insane. Even my six yr old son can be told more than one thing at a time and do them without asking now what was it you told me to do. If I say one word I get the Ugh or stomp and rolling the eyes. I feel like this has been all my fault we waited to long for our second child and I spoiled her she was my one and only baby girl for five years and now she still wants me to pick out her clothes. I thought for sure since she started middle school she would want to pick out her outfits cause what ever I pick its never right I'm just at a lost and don't know how to fix what I feel likei messed up her independence what do I do before we really start hating to be around each other. We just don't have that mother daughter bond nor does she with her daddy I feel sad about that and want to be able to have that I was and still am a daddy's girl. I didn't have a good relationship with my mom nor did I have any sister so I don't really know how to bond with her.

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