Hoping for advice from others who married a restaurant manager

Michelle - posted on 10/13/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

3

0

1

Hi all,

It's been difficult for me to find women that can relate to the life I live. I've been married for 2 years. We've been together for 4. My husband is a GM of a restaurant. He loves it, it thrills him. However, he works 9-8 4 days a week and one closing shift a week, getting him home at 2 am. The 9-8pm is rarely the case, because he usually stays past 9. I get it, he cant just let go of it. But it's very hard sometimes for me because I feel like there is no us time. He barely spends time with the baby. At least the baby isn't witnessing this, but I get very depressed sometimes and doubt how I am going to live with this forever. When I try to talk about it with him, he says "you know i have a very demanding job", basically i just have to get over it. I don't know what advice there is to give.. but if anyone has gone through this, or if your husband switch careers to have more life time, help!

3 Comments

View replies by

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/18/2016

13,216

21

2014

So...he has been a manager the whole time? And you just thought things were going to change?

I met my husband in the restaurant we both worked in, he was manager. When we married, we were running a resort restaurant together, and, yes, our days were long. However, most restaurants have more than one manager, which allows for down time, etc. The thing is, if you never discussed that you expected things to change when baby was born, what do you expect? He isn't a mind reader. You making comments is probably coming across as bitchy, since you didn't complain about his work ethic before.

What you need to do is discuss it calmly, explain that, now that you have a child, you would like him to be more involved.

Michelle - posted on 10/17/2016

3

0

1

Hi Jodi,

Yes we were married before the baby. I guess it was different because family dinners didn't exist yet and also the work with the baby without him. I didn't know what it would be like but hoped it wouldn't be so difficult. Since I also work it has been hard- his two days off near never the same sometimes Thursday and Sunday. I do make quality time as well but I just wanted to see if any moms are in the same situation and how they learned to adjust. I try not to compare to other families but it is a little hard seeing my friends husbands helping out so much and present for dinner.

Jodi - posted on 10/13/2016

3,535

36

3906

I am assuming he was working these hours when you married and had the baby. Why would you think he would change? This is his job. It's what brings in the money that supports the family. By the sounds of it, he gets 2 days a week off work. Make sure you use those times as quality time.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms