Hoping someone has gone through a similar situation. My ex and I have a 3 month old daughter and he would like to take her on the weekendssince he is now rrquired to pay child support. I've agreed to visitations but will not allow him to take her. He is very deceitful, unreliable and cannot be trusted. His wife which I did not know about would like to establish some kind of agrrement outside of court. She has been way too accepting of the situation which causes me to be more guarded. She is also expecting. Not sure how I should handle this one.

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Dove - posted on 09/16/2012

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The only way I would agree to anything 'outside of court' is if you go through mediation, get everything in writing, and have it officially notarized. DEFINITELY my advice is to go through the court system. If the two of you are able to be civilized you can go through mediation and still have it all done legally without as much expense as using lawyers and a judge, but please.... for the protection of everyone... get it all in writing and legalized.



You may not be able to get supervised visits... Then again, with her being so young... you might. I do know that many (though certainly not all) courts will not agree to overnights with a breastfed baby under a year, but you may be expected to pump (or provide formula) so that dad can have unsupervised daytime visits.



Good luck with it all!

Michelle - posted on 09/16/2012

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I wouldn't agree to any terms with it being court ordered.



Are you breastfeeding? If so then I wouldn't agree to weekend visits just yet. Get a visitation order in place first.

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Katherine - posted on 09/16/2012

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You have to go to court, Claudia. It's the only way this will work. I agree with Dove. She is only 3 months old and there is no possible way he is going to take her from you unless you are an unfit mother.

Lacye - posted on 09/16/2012

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Why are you guarded with the new wife? Couldn't it just be that she really doesn't mind that he has a child from a previous relationship and actually has an interest in getting to know the child he shares with you?



Why do you not want the court to set up the visitations? It would make things a lot easier. You say you have been accommodating but he has no interest in seeing her. How have you been accommodating? Do you only allow him to see yall's child in your home or do you allow him to leave with her for a little while and bring her back later?



I'm just asking because there seems to be some gaps that I'm missing and I just want to get the whole story before I can give advice.

Katherine - posted on 09/16/2012

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Then you need to go to court. You really can't keep him from seeing her.

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