Sarah - posted on 04/10/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )
There has been a misunderstanding between us (my husband and I) and my mother-in-law which occurred almost a year and a half ago. (For the sake of understanding, my Father-in-Law got mad at me for a political post on Facebook, an argument ensued, he informed me he would not speak to me until further notice and tell everyone he had no relationship with me, but they still expected to have full access to my son. Instead of calling me as usual, MIL called my husband and asked to take my son for a day. The situation made us uncomfortable, as it felt like I was being shoved out of the picture, so we asked MIL to wait for another time or come visit at our house. She refused, accused us of wanting to supervise her, and started corresponding with us through postal mail.) Though we've made every attempt to reconcile, she remains extremely passive-aggressive, makes excuses to exclude us from all family events (we haven't been to a holiday since Christmas 2010. Initially, we'd told her that we wanted to feel part of the family again, so if she wanted to spend time with our son, we wanted to be included, or she could visit at our house. She refused to see him for a year.
After some convincing by my father-in-law, and being invited to their house, we started letting MIL take my son for a few hours every so-often. This started this past January, but she is very cold to me still, we do not get invited to family functions, and she refuses to even text or call me when she's bringing my son home (even when she's said she will). Finally last night, she said she will NEVER call me, and accused me of having control issues because I want her to call, and because I want my son home at specific times for sleep.
Thoughts? I am losing my mind. What are appropriate boundaries here?