Jennifer - posted on 08/26/2011 ( 30 moms have responded )
Ok ladies, this could get a bit complicated but i'll do my best to keep it short. Just after our anniversary in June,my husband unexpectedly left me. He told me that he had been unhappy for a while and had finally had enough, all the while not mentioning anything to me. Come to find out, he had developed feelings for a friend of ours and she was claiming that she was going to leave her husband for mine and they would be together.Anyway, after talking to some family, my husband decided to come home and try and "work" things out with us because he decided he felt bad for not letting me know how he felt and for blindsiding me with everything. I agreed to let him come home with the stipulation that he was to have no contact with this other women, who was also trying to work it out with her husband. After being home for almost two months, he just informed me that they had been talking on the phone secretly in order for him to clear his head and to figure out what he wanted. As a result from talking to her, he came to the conclusion that he wants to be home with me and our kids and that she was just feeding him lies, grass is greener on the other side of the fence kind of thing. I'm more than thrilled that he is commited to me and the kids, however, i'm not thrilled with the way he came to his conclusion or the fact that he lied to me everyday for months about talking to her.
I don't know how i'm supposed to be able to move passed this, I can't just forget about all the lies he's told me and now i'm constantly wondering what else he is lying to me about and how am I supposed to know the difference. I feel like i'm the second choice and as his wife and mother to his children, shouldn't i be the first choice? I want to talk about things and try and work past them but he doesn't want to talk, he just wants to forget and move on. He's had time to process everything and be at the point where he can move on but i haven't gotten there yet and don't know how to if he won't let me talk things out with him.
What would you all suggest?