How can a bio mom think of herself as a better parent when she left her 1 year old kid?

Alynsky - posted on 09/17/2012 ( no moms have responded yet )

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How can a bio mom think of herself as a better parent when she left her 1 year old kid to the father?I am a step mom to a 10 year old girl.Me and my husband doesn't have kids yet of our own.My husband and the bio mom never got married but they lived together until the kid was born and the mom can't seem to handle the responsibility and left her 1 year old daughter with my husband and his family.The mom just takes her daughter if she's free.I can say that my relationship with my step kid is doing good now compared to before during the early stage of our marriage.She used to hate me because she thought I am taking her dad away from her but I have sat down with her and explained to her that my husband's love for me as a wife is different from his love for her as his own blood.I just don't know how to deal with her especially if she thinks her mom is the better parent and doesn't follow her dad and how he disciplines her.She is sometimes disrespectful coz she knows that she has her mom on her side and that her mom tells her not to follow her dad's rules which we want to impose on our household!!It pains me to see my husband struggle to discipline and gain the respect of his daughter but with the bio mom and his parents around I think he is facing a loosing battle.She always argue with my husband and is always against my husbands decision with his kid in everything.As a wife I feel sorry for him for having to deal with her but I tell him he can't get away with it.The bio mom even talks to me and tells me things against my husband but I don't want to meddle with how they raise the kid.My concern is that the kid is growing like a brat because of how she is now being raised with confusion.I say some points to my husbands to better his relationship with his daughter.The daughter is fine if she's with us but once she gets back from her mom she changes and we need to break the ice again.I don't know what to do anymore,I hope you could help me and my husband.

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