How can I get help for possible victims of sexual abuse?

Kalista - posted on 11/21/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My concern is for my nieces but first I have to give some history on my own life to explain the more reason to being concerned for the girls. My brother molested me when I was about 8, came into my room at night on several occasions while I was asleep and I'd wake up and he would be touching me and my clothes would be moved out of place but I wouldn't pretend to be asleep in shock and uncertainty of what to do. I'd just pretend to be waking up and he would quietly and Quicky leave. I finally told my mom he was waking me up a lot but no deatails, too embarrassing and weird. She talked to him and he told her he was trying to see if I'd sleep talk because it was funny. He stopped for a while but then started again and so I told my mom again and he stopped for good after her next talk with him. Growing up always ha weird vibes or awareness around him like when we would go swimming or anything revealing but he never did anything. Then when I was 13 he started spying on me and my friends while we slept and I'd wake up like I did as a child and him sneak off, but we thought he was just hormonal so ignored it. About 2 years ago his girlfriends daughter who was 4 at the time started trying to play kissing games with her cousin using her tongue, and other weird things but was always caught. She began telling her mom that it was a game a guy named Quentin did to her, touching her and her touching him. Now we know for a fact there is nobody of that name in her life, and after her mom went through some verbal and emotional abuse with my brother herself, she went to a shelter. The daughter saw a councilor at the shelter and they said they were sure she had been sexually abused. She could draw pictures of sexual acts as well as describe the nasty salt taste of what comes out like pee and her choking on his part because he went too far in her mouth. The councilor told her mom yes someone has sexually abused her and when she came home to tell my brother he didn't get upset at all and just asked her if the girl said who it was and what all she said. After the mom told him it all, he just went back to playing his computer game unaffected. Also when the mom would cry about it he would get very frustratetd and leave the room. eventually the girl's behavior at school was so terrible that her mother withdrew her and couldn't handle her and sent her to live with her brother out of town. Since then this girl had improved so much behavior wise and seems to be a lot happier. She will end up being raised there. Now, my brother and that girls mother actually had a daughter of their own as well, who is 3. She has been an extremely frequent masturbator all day anywhere. My mom shrugged it off as normal child masturbation. She always has potty training issues, she will smear her feces all over the walls in her home and daycare. The daycare is already concerned that she's been sexually abused because of the potty issues and aggressive behavior towards the other kids, masterbation, and the way she plays with the baby dolls shows sexual play. Oh did I mention... My brother is right now being prosecuted for stealing photos off my computer of me posing half naked for my husband, and posting these photos on several ex Gf porn sites, and other photo websites. He was caught having the photos by his daughters mother, which is why she had broke it off and went to the shelter from bein so freaked out. He had several lie stories to this until he finally admitted to me and the cops and detective on the case that it was him. The police technician looked at his computer and found all photos and revealed that at one point they could see that I was his desktop background. A picture of me posing nude in the shower that my husband took. My brother told my mom it's different when it's pictures and that you might as well put a bag over my head. My grandma has been on his side and after the allegations that he possibly molested the girls came out, she even stated, " he would never do that to his little girl, your body is different it's a grown woman's body." Nobody in my family thinks that it's possible except me and my other brother. The mom of the girls believes he did especially to the older one who is now six, because my brother used to watch her alone for years while she worked, he had no job for those years. The three year old has been alone with him often also after he split with the mother. Now he has to have supervised visits with the 3 yr old after the incest photo incident came out involving me, and me confessing to my councilor about my childhood. Our family has been torn and I've become blamed and hated for a lot

Of it, he is a very good manipulator and coward. I will live on but I sure as hell do not want this life for the girls. Their mom is aware but she just ends up letting it go or how she let the oldest move away to live with her brother from now on. But I want this to be dealt with not ignored. My 3 yr old niece can hardly speak and is behaving abnormally and more than one professional has voiced their concern but my mom even makes excuses and my brother denies it. All of that being said, what the hell can I do as an aunt and just frustrated human being who wants justice for the girls and is tired of their mom not fighting harder for it? I resent my family and how even she has handled all of this, enough is enough. What do I do? I don't know for sure if my brother committed sexual abuse crimes against the girls but I have enough suspicion to not ignore this. What can I do? Any suggestions are much appreciated. Sorry for the long story, just hard to squeeze all the info down to simplicity.

Thanks -Kay

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4 Comments

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Dayna - posted on 06/01/2013

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My question is why did you just stand by taking mental notes knowing these poor little babies were being victimized ? You knew from the first little girl and you should of stopped it who cares what your family would say or do that is some little girl and then after you sat back for who knows how long , you did it again and let that sick monster abuse a second girl well aware you knew what was going on. I may have read your post and took it the wrong way and if I did I am sorry. If I a read it correctly then you should go to jail with your brother for not standing up for those girls and that poor mother.

Michelle - posted on 11/21/2012

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I would contact the police because have first hand experience with what he's like. They may look further into it with more victims.

Kalista - posted on 11/21/2012

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When the councilor at the shelter had suspicions then CPS did get involved but nothing has changed and the people at the daycare said they were having the case reopened? This is everything the mother has said to me. I don't know if I am allowed to figure out anything on the case for myself or not or if there is something I should do. The mom had called the police before and they said its all just allegations and that CPS has to handle it. Maybe I can try with the police and see myself

Michelle - posted on 11/21/2012

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I thought any professionals that suspected abuse had to report it. How can the child care workers just carry on?



I would be reporting it to the police so tests can be done and your brother charged for his crimes.

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