How can i get my 3yr old to poop in the potty! He pees just fine but I cant seem to get him to do it!! It is driving us crazy, he was wearing a pull up to bed and then he would poop in that so we just tookt he pull up away hoping that would work!

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Jennifer - posted on 01/21/2009

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Don't worry about it! Both my boys were appx. 4 before they decided that that was there thing. The next thing you'll worry about once he learns is when he'll wipe his own bottom after! All in due time, all in their time. One day it'll just 'click' and will happen. Please please please do not stress yourself or him over this!

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Fiona Margaret - posted on 09/20/2015

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I'm having the same issue. My son is doing really well for wee on toilet, but refuses to do a poo in the toilet, I ask him if he needs to go and he says no, then a few minutes later comes to me and says "I pooed mummy"

I've been in years cos my health visitor always asks about it and when I explain she gives me such an awful look, makes me feel like I'm a bad mother.

My mum says he doesn't seem to know and it may be medical but he'd be showing other symptoms

Almost at breaking point.

Any tips would be appreciated

Sherri - posted on 01/22/2009

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I love your advice Alexis - Our daughter is 3 1/2 and still will not go on the potty! She will have about 2 accidents at daycare and that is pretty good but when she gets home she refuses to sit on it and try or do anything besides wear a pull up. My husband and I are frustrated and her dr. said just don't talk about. She will eventually get it and want to go on her own. We just had a baby 3 weeks ago and so that has not helped her potty training situation too much but I do believe what you said about if it doesn't feel right for your child, it probably isn't. My mom keeps telling me to just get rid of all pull ups in the house - problem is, I know our daughter, she will not care, she will just keep going #1 and #2 in her Dora underwear!!

Teresa - posted on 01/21/2009

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Let me know if you still need help with this. I see you posted back in Dec. I have a great plan that worked for my son.

[deleted account]

I'm not sure this is much of a solution....

My middle boy had the same issue. He was almost 3 and still not using the toilet to poop. My husband and I were leaving him and his brothers with some friends for the evening. I knew he was "due" for a bowel movement, and I didn't want him pooping in his underwear over at their house. So while we were on our over I gave him a lecture. "Daniel, you are not going to poop in your underwear. I poop in the toilet, Dad poops in the toilet, [continued with list of adults/older children who use the toilet] and Audra poops in the toilet." (Audra was our friends' daughter who was just a few months older than Daniel.)

Dan stopped and looked at me, "Audwa poops in the toiwet?"

I answered firmly, "Yes, she does. And you're going to poop in the toilet too."

He sighed, resigned. "All Wight. I will."

And he did, from that moment on.

Tamara - posted on 01/21/2009

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try him on the toilet, my children never liked the potty i made it a game on the toilet

Rikki - posted on 01/21/2009

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We had this same problem - our son potty trained #1 in the potty in 2 days without pullups. #2 took a lot longer for some reason. I think it's a control issue - we used incentive program - he wanted the BIG buzzlight year for the longest time and got it and put it where he could see it and told him when he went #2 on the potty he would get it...it still took a long time and would hold it until we put his pull up on at bedtime - of course we would change it...eventually he did it on the potty...thank goodness!

User - posted on 01/21/2009

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I used to sit with my son in the bathroom and read to him, while he was distracted he would poop in the potty. Everytime he did he got a new sticker to put on his sticker chart that we hung on the bathroom wall. He was so excited to see the chart fill up and see which new stickers I would get for him - plus it is inexpensive. I read that sometimes they're just afraid to do it the first time, because they're unsure of what will happen, after the first few times, I'm sure it will come alot easier for him. Good Luck!

Jennifer - posted on 01/21/2009

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I have girls and it was pretty easy to train them. Potty schedules are a big factor. gotta stick to it like glue. My mother found a technique with my brothers that seemed to be fail proof... M&M's! One of my brothers was actually frightened to poop in the potty as if he were losing a part of himself. She started timing him. Ten minute sessions once an hour starting an hour after a meal. She would reward him w/three M&M's for sitting on the potty. He would get three more if he peed and five more if he pooped. It took all of about a week for him to like the idea of getting that reward and the battle was won. He was more excited about his reward than he was afraid of releasing .It worked with both of my other brothers and it worked for my girls and even for my sister's children. Try it .

Alex - posted on 01/21/2009

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Hi, I read some really great posts. One thing I have found is that every child is different, so no two approaches work the same. My daughter was three before she was completely potty trained and I hear that is old for a girl. What definitely DID NOT work was going against my instincts and listening to my Mother in Law as she insisted that we just take away the diapers. I'm sure that works for some but I knew in my heart it wouldn't work for our child and lo and behold it set her back 6 months...6 MONTHS. So I stopped pushing the issue. I would try occasionally, and if she wasn't ready then I would drop it. I knew she would do it when she was ready and shortly after her 3rd B-day and within 36 hours she was completely potty trained. She just decided she was ready one Saturday and that was that...both #1 & #2. I love sites like this where you can seek advice from parents with similar situations. Just remember that if something doesn't sound right for your child (even though it may have worked for someone else) then it probably isn't right for your child. I say this only because I hate to see someone else set back a full six months like my daughter because they did not listen to their gut. When peopel would look at me funny because they saw a 3 year old wearing diapers, I would just smile and say "don't worry about it, it's not like she will be wearing them when she goes to college". Good luck!

Amy - posted on 01/21/2009

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I went threw the same thing with my son! It's not easy, but this is what I did! he never wore a diaper once he was peeing in the potty and well I would make him run around (during the summer) in the house with no daiper on. Only had a couple of accidents but it did work in the long run!

Stacey - posted on 01/20/2009

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I'm so relieved to know that my child is not the only one taking his time with this issue of #2 in the proper place! We are so very frustrated with this lil task....tried so many of the suggestions i've read....each child is unique and our job is to keep trying new methods until it works! Thanks for the reassurance :)

Danielle - posted on 12/20/2008

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I know it's rough, but sometimes those boys just need a little more time. My son (now 4) is finally going poop in the potty. One thing I did do was tell him every time he went in his pants that if he would go in the potty, I'd give him a treat. If I tried to push it too hard, he would hold it and get horribly constipated. But he finally got it and decided that it was in his best interest to go and get his treat.

Sarah - posted on 12/20/2008

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i have the same problem with my daughter. she won't poop on the potty either. just to let u know its not only u that has a problem with that

Mel - posted on 12/20/2008

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My little boy was done within 2 weeks, once he saw his poop go splat on the bathroom floor that was it, no more problems.

Tricia - posted on 12/18/2008

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I had the same problem w/my 2 1/2 yr old. I decided to take the pull ups away and use big boy underwear. The only time he gets pull ups now is at bedtime. When he would poop in his pull up I would make him sit on the potty for awhile and sometimes he would finish the job in the potty. That went on for a good month that's when I decided to just stick to the underwear. It takes ALOT of patience but when I would see him hide or he had that look on his face I would rush him into to the bathroom and explain to him that he needs to poop in the big potty. After pooping in his undewear a few times he didn't like it at all so I think that's when he really understood he needed to poop in the potty as well.I realized to that I may have been pushing the issue to much about pooping in the potty so I kinda backed off now he will tell me when he has to pee or poop. He hasn't had an accident in a couple weeks. It's kind of a mess and pain at first when you take the pull up away but it will get better. I also had Daddy explain that he needs to pee and poop in the potty and it just finally clicked.

Mandy - posted on 12/18/2008

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I am having the exact same trouble with my just turned 3 yr old. He has no issues using the potty to pee, but poo's his underwear everytime. Doesn't seem to matter to him, we've been going through this for over 3 months. I am trying to just back off a bit. Even if he wears a pull up he rarely pees in it. Then will go hard core again. It is so incredibly frustrating for me! So I relate. :) I hoping he'll start getting more embarrased with it. He'll sit in it and hide it from me, which of course results in a diaper rash. Don't feel like I can win somedays!

Lori - posted on 12/17/2008

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My son was slow with the pooping as well. I took the stance of letting him do it when he was ready (much to the shagrin of my mother-in-law) but as we approached the 4th birthday, I had to set a time table. We kept telling him that when he turned four, there would be no more pooping in a diaper (he would pee on the toilet and then ask for a diaper when he had to poop). I think the count down helped not only to prepare him, but gave him the time he needed to get used to the idea. On his fourth birthday, that was it. He started pooping on the toilet. Problem solved. Shortly after that he was sleeping through the night in underwear and we have never looked back. I think we just need to give kids the time it takes for them to achieve success but with gentle guidance. Don't pressure him. Some boys just really aren't ready, but they get there. Good luck.

Katie - posted on 12/17/2008

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be patient dont rush him.my 5 year old when he was potty training wouldnt poop in his potty either.it took forever for him to i think after 2 months he finally started going

Michelle - posted on 12/17/2008

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My two sons both had this problem. The older one had it a little longer than the younger one. What I did to solve this was to give 'potty treats'. The boys both like m&m's so, the would get one for pee, and a handful for poop.(one of their handfulls, 10 m7m's...maybe) That worked for us!!

Olivia - posted on 12/17/2008

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My daughter is 2 and a half. She was the same way...she would pee just fine and was all excited about her big girl panties, and would cry and cry until I put a diaper on her to poop. Finally I was tired of it, and refused to change poopy diapers any more. I refused to give her a diaper...and told her she better not go in her panties. The first few times, she held out untiul the last few seconds...only once did she go in her panties. I told her "Dora was very sad"...and she did not like that. She has gone on the big potty ever since...WOOHOO. Good luck, hope this helps,Olivia

Sara - posted on 12/17/2008

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Hi I'm not sure if it will help, but this is how it worked with my 2 experiences with the poo part of potty training with my now 6 and 3.5 year old sons.

With my eldest, I first required that if he wanted to go poo in the pull-up he must go into the bathroom to do it (my reasoning was that at least he was getting used to the habit of going in there to do his business LOL! When he was done, we took the pull-up off and dumped the contents in the potty and he had to flush it.) This worked for fine, but ultimately, the pediatrician was a huge help, we went for a check-up and he asked my son about using the potty. He told him that Mom was not allowed to buy anymore pull-ups or let him use them. So I stuck to it and said sorry the dr said no, and he was done in a snap with the pull-ups completely! With son 2, I waited till he was really ready and then prepared to be home with him full-time for at least a few days. During those days I let him run around naked or in underwear so he could not hide the fact that it was going to come out and he needed to get to the potty! It only took a day or so and he was pretty much done.

I might also suggest you make him a part of the clean-up. He'll figure out that it's not too much fun cleaning up his own poo and much easier and cleaner to put his poo in the potty the first time. I hope this helps in some way. I know different stuff works for different families, try anything you think might get through to him :-) Best of luck!

Rochelle - posted on 12/17/2008

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I lucked out,, my twins did both in the potty by two. However, I did have to leave them for a long time on the potty and make them stay in order to realize that is where they need to do it,, it's like they didn't want to wait. So we did books, i would read while they say,, sitting in there with them makes them feel like they are not missing as much, And agreeing with others, we had a sticker poster, they earned their fav stickers everytime they went. Hopefully it helps but I do think making them take the time to stay in there until they have went.

Amber - posted on 12/17/2008

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I had the same problem with my daughter. So i bought a bunch of small toys and wraped them, I showed her and told her that every time she pooped in the potty she got a present. By the time the presents were gone she was going on the potty no problem.

Tina - posted on 12/17/2008

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Monica you are not alone!! My daughter now almost 9, wore pull ups to poop in until she was 4. It would drive me crazy. I had to fight with her, and told he absolutely not, I was not putting a pull up on her ever again!! She moaned and croaned, got a tummy ache from holding it in, and Finally!! gave in and went poop on the potty. Just take the pull ups away forever. He will get the hint then. Good luck, it will work, hang tough!

Sheri - posted on 12/17/2008

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My 3 year old daughter has the same problem. She knows how and is proud once she does but she needs motivation. We bribe her. Cookies or a gummy bear if she goes on the potty. It was our doctors suggestion. Some kids are scared and need that little bit of motivation to keep them interested until they are ready to do it on there own. We give her lots praise and do the happy dance in the bathroom EVERY time.

Nikki - posted on 12/17/2008

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I used this trick for my kids & I do childcare & still use it....when a child goes potty (poop or pee) everyone gets a treat , if the child has an accident everyone gets a treat EXCEPT him/her....trust me , it only takes a few times, cause it really stinks not to gat a treat! Make sure to make a REALLY big deal out of a success!

Kaukab - posted on 12/17/2008

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well i had a friend who said she used the suppositories......n made her way out n it really did work coz its just the one time FEAR !!! once they do it dats it ,there ready to go !!!!!

Tricia - posted on 12/17/2008

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A good friend of mine (who has 4 kids of her own) assured me, after I complained about my son's potty training problems, that she'd never heard of any healthy high schoolers with potty training issues!! So just be assured that your son will be pooping in the potty when he is good and ready. Enjoy the journey!

Sylvie - posted on 12/17/2008

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There are pee books for kids for sale with sticker and all that, I got mine at a dollarama years ago. Maybe you can look on the internet for it???

Sylvie - posted on 12/17/2008

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don' t just let him concentrate on the toilet while he is on the toilet. Read and laugh and the wee that's good, allright, ha ha, now lets go drink some more water. It is harder to train during the holidays like now, January will be better beleive me I know LOL. Good luck!!

Sylvie - posted on 12/17/2008

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Put cheerioes in the toilet bowl and tell him to aim for the holes.

Put stickers and little stars each time and give him a nice reward every 5 to 10 stickers.

Crystal - posted on 12/17/2008

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thats so funny, my three year old does the same thing, he will bring me a diaper to put on him cause he has to poop, he pees in the toilet no problem. I even bought a diego baby toilet seat, but i think pooping is way to awkward, so what i'm thinking of doing soon is hiding all diapers so he cant find them to poop in, but then he'll probably just bring me his underware to poop in, but I think they have to just grow with it and they will do it when theyre ready, cause they know that they have to poo in the toilet but they just refuse cause they have the diaper way out.

Jenifer - posted on 12/17/2008

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When I potty trained my youngest son (I have 2 daughters before him), it usually scared him to sit there. But then since he talks already, it takes a while for them to say when they're going to poop. But everytime he made "that" face, I would take him to the potty and stay with him, coaxing him or distracting him about being scared of the potty, until he got so used to it, he only calls out when he needs to be washed or needs to flush the toilet. He's already 5. Hope this helped.

Melissa - posted on 12/17/2008

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And he still just poops in his underwear?? Thats a big problem with most boys. My advice as hard as it is, is that if you know he poops the same time everyday, either keep himup longer from his nap or wake him up early from his nap and make him sit on the potty. If he is peeing in the potty he KNOWS what its for and what goes there. Its just a matter of getting him to be comfortable doing it. The first time is usually the hardest. But after he does it the first few times he will realize how much easier it is and less messy. He may need to sit for a long time but if you know he needs to go then its worth the wait. Once he does go then you get REALLY REALLY excited and cheer for him and offer him a big boy sticker. Make a potty chart or something that he can show daddy or grandma. Something that he can be totally proud of. And if after 5 poops ON THE POTTY he has done so good then maybe reward him with ice cream or a cheap lil toy or trip to the park. Kids at that age are very into praise. Good Luck

Mansi - posted on 12/17/2008

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My son is fully potty trained just 2 months before he turned 4yrs old. My son had trouble doing poop in toilet but he learnt to do pee early.. Finally I went cold turkey and that did the trick.. If he is not ready to do it then let it go.. I have heard boys has their own thing and they are little behind compare to girls and that is so true for my son... Now he does it in potty without any problem. Good luck!!!

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