How can I get my 4 1/2 year old daughter to stay in her bed all night?

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

Hi everybody. Well as many other mums of toddlers and babies, I feel so far very proud of our achievements as mum and daughter but this is one is been specially difficult, one of those things I'm a bit confused due having 2nd. feelings and don't know how to go about it.

I split almost 2 years ago from dad and although my daughter has her own lovely room and bed til now she still wakes up and make her way to mine. At the beginning I used to take her back but I gave up since this was making my back suffer greatly due to the several times a night I have take her back to hers. Eventually I ended up putting her to sleep in my own bed with the idea of -once sleeping- it would be easier to take her to hers without her even noticing it and spend all night there, of course I failed miserably, she even refuse to go to bed alone.

She falls asleep quite soon but always with me by her side, everytime she wakes up looks for me or comes out looking for me to drag me back. Flatering yes but start to feel that I'm doing something bad.

Then I did have a partner for a while (sadly we have decided to split friendly) and although it was someone she knew from a very young age and loved dearly she still used to come and demand her space in my bed so we eventually decided that when she was staying with me he wouldn't.

I remember a time when I was still married that actually she did stayed the whole night in her crib in her own room and ask myself know where did all went wrong and out of hand? I must admit I loved cuddling her next to me and in a way needless to say her presence comforts me but I'm confuse: in the one hand I have read of many people (couples) that love co-sleeping with their kids (yes kids with "s" at the end) but in the other hand I wonder if I am been acomplice to a dependancy hard to break (in both sides).

We just came back from visiting family abroad for a long time and during this time and due to lack of guest space we do share the same bed, as we speak she is staying this fisrst days with dad but she is due back with me tomorrow so have to come up with new arrangements soon.

Also so far -and I really don't mind-, know that daddy also shares his bed (no trust problems there whatsoever) but not sure about his cooperation with a new plan since he doesn't even have a bed for her.

Look forward to hear from all of you!
Thanks, Lorena

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