How can I get my adult son to respect house rules when my husband refuses to follow thru? ?

Suzanne - posted on 07/15/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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We have 4 children. My husband is on a downward spiral with serious legal issues, lying, integrity,in denial and emotional abusing me and our oldest son. Our 23 year old younger son is a recovered addict, relapsed 4 months ago, in recovery, but refuses to do any chores, makes a mess and will not seek employment. I know that due to my husband's issues, he has ceased "parenting up" and refuses counseling. Besides throwing my son's stuff in his room every day, is there any other advice out there ? I am also struggling with auto immune illnesses and our 17 year old daughter is lashing out at me. Our older son is respectful, kind, helps out a lot as does our mature, 19 year old daughter but they are frustrated and angry. I am beginning to research legal seperation as well. Thanks!

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Ashley - posted on 07/17/2012

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i am my moms youngest of age 25, my older brother kinda still lives with my mom! i don't like the way he takes advantage of her, and it seems that is what you kids are doing to you. a parent is suppose to raise their kids then set them free to grow old with their spouse and have them visit with grand babies!

your 17 yr old daughter should be the only one living with you, 18 is adulthood, does your 23 yr old son plan on starting a life of his own? if so i sure hope you don't have to take in his girlfriend/wife and later kids as well. that's what happened to my mom and dad.

now they are stuck with my brother his wife and 4 kids! the bad thing is they both have jobs but would rather live at home with mom and dad so they don't have bills.

kids take their parents for granted now and days, and we giving birth to them unforchantly let them, i hate to say it but there are legal ways you can force them out and learn to support themselves.

i know it sounds mean but think of it this way, if they depend on you forever, when it is your time to go from this world, what will they do then? very sorry if anything offends you is deff not my attention.

Suzanne - posted on 07/15/2012

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Thanks! My faith is really strong and that makes a huge difference. I want to get my message across that I must be respected and he is compelled to help out . That is what I meant. Thanks again!

Stifler's - posted on 07/15/2012

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I really feel for you :( Your kids are all old enough to move out, that's what I'd suggest they be doing. You really need to look after yourself now, auto immune disease isn't a joke. You can't discipline legal adults, you can try but it's highly unlikely that it will work.

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