How can I get my children to sleep?

Lisamarie - posted on 05/24/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have two children, my son will be 2 in July and my daughter is 4. We live in a 2 bedroom house so they have to share a room. The bedroom is fairly big, with my sons cot on one side of the room and my daughters bed on the other. I put them to bed between 6 and 6:30, I tried later times but that made the problems worse, but they don't end up falling asleep untill 9:30-10:00pm! We tried the rapid return technique, by putting our daughter back into bed and laying our son back down. Before bed we brush teeth, bath and read a book so we have the routine, they just love to wind eachother up, if its not my son calling his sister, it's her calling him, she climbs into his cot with him and they play with their toys (we have a fairly small house and already have toys downstairs so nowhere else to put them) Sometimes I go up there and my daughter has pulled ALL of the clothes out and her toys are everywhere. We've tried putting our son in our bedroom but our room is smaller than theirs and our daughter just goes in there anyway.
I don't know what else to try, my husband and I are not getting any time together in the evening as we are constantly running up and down the stairs!
Any advice would be much appreciated!

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Danise - posted on 05/24/2011

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When my son was 6 months old I had to get up about 7 times a night until I decided that this was enough. I let him moun in his cot until he learned to sooth himself to sleep. I wasn't an easy thing to do but he learned and now I only get up once at 12 or at 2 and then he sleeps further till about 6 or 7.



She must learn that if she only want to go to sleep at 11pm then it is her choice but the rest of the house is going to sleep and will not be entertaining her.



She will realize that it is not a game anymore. It will also be wise to monitor her sugar intake. It could be that she is getting to much sugar and that keeps her up.

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Lisamarie - posted on 05/25/2011

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They clean up their own mess everytime, even if they have to stay up there all day until it is done.
I shall follow your advice tonight, maybe taking away tele privilegesif she wakes him, see how it goes. Thanks again! :-)

Barb - posted on 05/25/2011

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Who cleans up the mess the make?

And you can stop her with consequences. Give her expectations; "you are going to go to bed, lay down, and go to sleep. Do not wake your brother up." with a warning, "if you wake your brother up, you will go to bed at the same time he does tomorrow and won't get to stay up later with me and Daddy" That is just an example, you can take away any privilege, the key is follow through. If she wakes her brother up, you do exactly what you warned her you would do.

Or positive reinforcement, you could also take the approach of asking her to help you by going to bed and not waking her brother and what a big help that is and how proud of her you are for being such a big girl and not waking him up and if she keeps helping you, she can stay up a little later with you and Daddy.

If they make a mess, they can clean it up.

Lisamarie - posted on 05/25/2011

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OK, so I put my son to bed at 6pm last night, we waited until he was asleep and put my daughter to bed at 7pm, she woke him up not once but 3 times!! He managed to get back to sleep but my daughter didn't until 9:30pm, she wasn't making too much mess and she was relatively quiet. Should I just leave her to get on with it? And how can I stop her waking my son up??

Lisamarie - posted on 05/24/2011

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Danise, I have only just managed to get my son to only wake once during the night! My daughter slept through the whole night since she was 6 weeks old, no such luck with my son though.
Sometimes I just let them get on with it as long as they are quiet and they generally are but it's the mess they make and my son is so tired the next day.

Lisamarie - posted on 05/24/2011

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Hi Barb, thanks for the advice. They get up between 7:30 and 8:00am. Niether of them nap during the day, my son will occassionally fall asleep on the sofa or floor but refuses to nap in his cot. We've tried putting our son to bed first but he screams and works himself up so much it's as if he feels he's being punished by being put to bed earlier than his sister.
We have put them to bed later but that just seems to exacerbate the situation.

Barb - posted on 05/24/2011

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6 to 6:30 sounds awfully early to me. What time do they get up? and do they take a nap during the day?

I would suggest putting the 2 year old to bed, letting him go to sleep and then put the 4 year old to bed like an hour later.

Lisamarie - posted on 05/24/2011

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Thanks Danise, sometimes my son is so tired from being up so late that he'll fall asleep on the floor or in his buggy before his bedtime so I take him up and he's asleep, that's fine, very rarely will his sister wake him up when she goes to bed but she still wont sleep and makes up thousands of excuses to get out of bed. I have sat in their room with them untill they fell asleep, my husband and I tag teamed but she didn't fall asleep until 11:30pm!! At first we thought she just wasn't tired enough so we took her to the park for longer and now she is at nursery 3 hours a day, 5 days a week and we thought that would help but no chance! I am willing to try anything though! :-)

Danise - posted on 05/24/2011

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Hi. I would suggest putting your son in bed with you until your daughter is asleep or the other way round. This way there will be no one to play with. Can't you put a the toys in a crate and remove them from their room when it is bed time?



It is also time to get firm with your daughter as she is the oldest and understands that sleep time is sleep time. You can introduce a reward system that if she goes to sleep, stays in her bed and is quite she will get certain things else something she enjoys will be kept from her.



She is old enough to understand that she is not getting a star or cookie today because of misbehaving. Soon brother will follow because she is the example.

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