how can i get my kids to stop fighting

Jill_c_holzman - posted on 03/23/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




my twin boys are 31 months about to be 3 they play fight ill it gets really serioous an they hurt each other an breaking it up putting them in time outs an spanking them all dont work any more what should i do??


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[deleted account]

What happens if you don't intervene? Will they eventually stop when they are both hurt? Seeing as how they are twins I would figure they are fairly equally matched in size and strength.

My twins are girls (10) and not very physical w/ each other, but boys are totally different creatures. I have one son (almost 4) and he's got 3 boy cousins (almost 5, 3, and 1). Sword 'fighting' and wrestling are their life. :) I don't think you CAN take the 'play fight' out of them. If punishing them doesn't work maybe just separate them when they get hurt and talk to them about playing w/out hurting each other.

Good luck! While my girls aren't very physical... the battles are endless. They are best friends, but love to antagonize each other (and little brother) CONSTANTLY!

Jenni - posted on 03/23/2012




Break it up and separate them the moment it starts. No playing rough. Send one to one room to play and one to another. Explain to them we don't play rough because someone will get hurt. And that they can play together again when they are ready to play a gentle game together. You have to do it immediately, you have to do it every time they try to fight, you have to follow it up with an explanation of why the behaviour is unacceptable and why they can't play together if they're going to play fight. Once they've calmed down a bit, provide them with an activity they can do together.

It's natural for boys to enjoy aggressive play, so try to channel it into positive aggressive play. Like playing sports (at this age just kicking a ball around in the yard). Make sure you're giving your boys plenty of exercise to burn off that energy! Have them play tag instead or run around at the park. If they're play fighting in the house, it may be because they're pent up with energy and need to be shown how to spend it in a positive way.

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