how can i get my x to back off child support even though i see my son as much as him

Marnie - posted on 10/26/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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my x has custody of my ten yr old and he got him because i went into a program and we agreed upon him taking my son till i was done well he told them i abandoned my kid and they gave behind my back while i was in rehab custody now im forced to pay child support to a lier and a theif he stills my child support mail and hides it from me and my licence is now suspended and i have no job.any help with what i can do please

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/31/2014

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Well, since you didn't legally set up custody before you went into rehab, there isn't any fault on the other person's part.

Are you totally clean and sober now? If so, GOOD JOB. If not, get back to rehab.

You are not FORCED to pay support, support is your obligation. You created a child. You have the obligation to support that child, or to pay the person who is the custodial parent for the needs and support of the child. If you have difficulties meeting your obligations, your attorney can ask for a relief order that will enable you to catch up on back payments without penalizing you.

As you've been told on your other post, get a secure mailbox and quit having important mail sent to your ex's address. At this point, if you don't have a secure life yourself, you will not be allowed custody, but should have visitation. Your attorney will be able to help with that as well.

Michelle - posted on 10/31/2014

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Have you looked into getting legal aid (or whatever it is called where you are)? They are there to represent those that can't afford a private lawyer.

Marnie - posted on 10/29/2014

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WELL IF I TOLD YOU THE WHOLE STORY FROM START TO FINISH YOU COULD HOPEFULLY UNDERSTAND WHY IM IN THIS SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT ITS LONG AND I DONT TYPE VERY GOOD AS YOU CAN TELL I WENT TO REHAB I GOT KICKED OUT BECAUSE A GIRL KISSED ME I KNOW HOW IT SOUNDS 15 DAYS BEFORE I WAS TO GRADUAte i went to get help because i was getting reliant on it i asked my x to take care of tylker while i did a 90 day program well in this rehap you have no contact what so ever the first 30 days .steve went to court and told them i abandoned my child and got a lawyer i didnt even get the paper work till it was too late i had my son the first three years of his luife all by my self no help from steve at all he totally just made me look so bad he didnt want to half to pay chwalefare now he some how turned it all around i owe walefare i guess i dont even understand what the hell happned but i was orderd to pay him 300.00 a month when i got out i had nothing because i trusted steve to take care of my already paid in advance rent on my appt but he got rid of all my stuff just tossed it sold my car and toojk my baby . and i lost my job and became a dancer .now i am too old have felonies and no car and see my son more than i everdid as soon as my friend bought me a car i have been going to my sons every day for a year then i go to renew my liccence and its suspended i have no help from anybody except my boyfriend who pays me to keep his house clean i spent every penny i get on my soni have reciepts and they couyld talk to my son he doesnt want to live with steve he wants me its sooooooo sad,they wont hear me i need a lawyer they think im a dead beat mom thats so far from the truth

Marnie - posted on 10/29/2014

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im homeless i pretty much stay there most the time but him and ui dont get along at all because hes trying to destroy me and the only one hes hurting is our son i just cant believe how heartless and liar and controll freak big time.he cheeted on me when we were together it goes on and on i dont know what to do i have no one
he gets away with it too he has a stable job owns his home and i have nada and there trying to get 300.00 a montgh for support from me and now I CANT DRIVE CUZ HE OPENED MY MAIL AND THREW IT AWAY . HE ADMITTED IT WHEN HE WAS SDRUNK TOO AND I HAVE A WITNEASS

Sarah - posted on 10/26/2014

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Good point. If you were to call the support office and request it, could you get it sent registered? It seems like such critical documents should be tracked to prove the intended recipient actually receives them.
Marnie, how does he steal the documents? Do you still live with him?

Michelle - posted on 10/26/2014

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In Australia that paperwork isn't sent registered mail Sarah, so I guess it depends where the OP lives.

Sarah - posted on 10/26/2014

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You can go back to court anytime and show documentation of the program you were in,but if you were in rehab perhaps it's better is you don't have custody just yet. Also, what would motivate him to steal your child support orders? He is hurting himself and your son by making it more difficult to receive the support you are to pay to him.
Documents of that nature are often sent via registered mail, and require a signature. If he is the one signing and discarding the mail, then you should not have had our license suspended. If you had signed, it would be different. How far in arrears are your payments?

Michelle - posted on 10/26/2014

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If the child support is court ordered then you need to go back to court and get the support and visitation changed.

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