How can I get over these feelings of inferiority and inadequacy?

Jasmine - posted on 09/14/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm not a mom yet, but I have a couple of things I can't get over for some reason.
First, I'll talk about my situation. I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 22. I don't have any kids, but my boyfriend had a son when he was 18 with his ex. He loves his 4 year old to death and I have met the child, who happens to be a little sweet heart, but every time I think about it, I can't help but feeling inadequate or useless (there's a lot more to it but this is the only way I can explain it), and I have to quit thinking about it or I get depressed. I don't know why I feel like this, maybe it's because I can't give him what she gave him, I don't know... I just wish I knew how to get over it.
We're deeply in love and we wan't to someday have kids together, but these feelings of inferiority suppress me. After all, it's not like it'll be his "first..."
I'd greatly appreciate it if someone could help me please. I hate feeling like this and I don't want it to ruin us.
Thank you.

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Jodi - posted on 09/14/2015

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Does college have a counsellor? I agree with Sarah that counselling is a good idea. It may help you put it in perspective a bit.

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Jasmine - posted on 09/14/2015

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To be honest, I do feel jealous. Not so much of the kid but more of his ex. I don't really know why. I could try counselling (I have thought about it) the only thing that holds me back from doing so is the economic situation. I don't have the kind of money to spend on that right now, especially since I'm in college. Thank you Sarah.

Sarah - posted on 09/14/2015

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Well it won't be his first child but it will be your first as a couple, if you do have kids someday and that will be very special. Do you feel jealous of his daughter? I, at 18 briefly dated a man with a child and his daughter came first, that made me jealous. However, it really showed that he was a good dad and had his priorities in order. It's tough to be in a relationship with someone who has a child. Have you considered counseling in order to sort out your feelings?

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