How can I help my 9yr old daughter under stand she has to listen to me?

Amanda - posted on 02/27/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi I'm a single mom of 2 daughters ages 7 & 9 years old. Right now I'm having problems with my 9yr old daughter. She has this I don't care attitude toward everything, I can't get her to listen to me, & her graded are dropping. It seems like no matter what I do I can't get her to listen to me. I've tried everything I can think of from grounding het to making het write apology notes saying I did this because & I won't do this again because. She's also mean to her little 7yr old sister. She hits her & yells at her things like that. She gets mad at both het sister & I when she gets in trouble saying things like it's not fair that she gets into trouble more then her sister. When she gets in trouble more then het sister because her sister listens to me more. I've called the school guidance office hoping that maybe talking to someone might help. But I don't know what else to try or do. It breaks my Jett seeing her like this. I just want her to know that I love her with all my heart. That the only reason she gets in trouble is because I'm trying to teach her right from wrong so she can grow up to be a good person with a good life. I just want to do what's best for her. Does anyone have any ideas on things I could try to help her learn to listen better but at the same time to show her that I love her & I'm only trying to do what's beat for her in the long run.

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Amanda - posted on 02/27/2012

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Thank u. I want to take a positive approach in hopes that it will help her more & she won't feel like she's always getting into trouble & that's about all I can think of that I havent already tried.

Amanda - posted on 02/27/2012

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I've tried that using anything from money 2 something she wanted from the store as her reward. That was actually something I was doing before the problem started. And when it didn't seem to help I moved on to the next method. The guidance counselor told me that I should try ignoring her when she gets her attitude or starts back talking. For me to just either send her to her room or for me to just walk away from her. So that's what I'm trying right now. But thankfully today was a fairly good day she only got mad 1 time & that was when she got told she couldn't pop popcorn because it was bedtime. I did tell her that if she was good for the rest of the week that on Friday we could have a family movie night & have popcorn. That it was just to late to do it tonight then I offered her another form of snack animal crackers but she would take it. But thank u for the suggestion & if there's anything else u can think of please let me know. I also have 1 other idea & please tell me is this sounds stupid. Giving her like $10 (in 1 dollar bills) on Monday & everytime she does something that she knows shes not allowed to do she has to give me $1 back. Then since my main problem with my 7yr old is she still wants to suck her thumb do the same thing with her but she pays me the $1 everytime she sucks her thumb. Then at the end of the week what ever money they have left they get to keep. For the process to start all over again on.

Katherine - posted on 02/27/2012

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Instead of her getting into trouble all the time, why don't you make it positive and do a rewards chart?

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