How can I help my suicidal 20-something daughter?

Peter - posted on 08/24/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hello, I'm a dad actually. My daughter, now 24, dropped out of university at age 20, believing she suffered from borderline personality disorder. She has changed her self-diagnosis to Asperger's - both diagnoses were confirmed by different pyschiatrists.
She is on a heavy dose of Effexor, plus anti-anxiety medication, plus several pipefulls of weed every day. Despite (or because of) all this, her mental state has been getting worse and worse. Self-injury, and suicide threats occur several times a year, particularly if she meets and starts to care about a man. She is no longer able to handle the fast food jobs she's had since school and is living at home with her mother. I should add that she is extremely intellectually gifted. The suicide talk, including describing a method for doing it, is very frightening. I don't believe she has been getting good care or advice from the pyschiatric world. Any ideas or advice? Thanks, Peter


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Christina - posted on 08/24/2014




Okay well first I want to respond immediately to one thing in your post because it needs to be addressed IMMEDIATELY and needs an urgent response..... The rest I will respond to when I get home I am sitting in walmart parking lot as funny as that sounds.... But I logged in my account and this caught my eye first thing. What needs to be addressed urgently is not the fact that she's suicidal but yes the fact that she has a plan to do it. So with that said....this very second What is her immediate danger she is in? I am a nurse and there are certain levels of immediate suicidal danger... Considering the fact she had a plan to do so is what alarms me to think she's on the higher end of immediate danger..... And if that's true, every second to act counts and the person really should not be left alone. If you are unaware of the level of danger there are a few questions you need to ask to find out ASAP:

Here is a referenced paragraph that may help you understand the urency:

If a friend or family member tells you that he or she is thinking about death or suicide, it’s important to evaluate the immediate danger the person is in. Those at the highest risk for committing suicide in the near future have a specific suicide PLAN, the MEANS to carry out the plan, a TIME SET for doing it, and an INTENTION to do it.

The following questions can help you assess the immediate risk for suicide:

Do you have a suicide plan? (PLAN)
Do you have what you need to carry out your plan (pills, gun, etc.)? (MEANS)
Do you know when you would do it? (TIME SET)
Do you intend to commit suicide? (INTENTION)
Level of Suicide Risk
Low — Some suicidal thoughts. No suicide plan. Says he or she won’t commit suicide.

Moderate — Suicidal thoughts. Vague plan that isn’t very lethal. Says he or she won’t commit suicide.

High — Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. Says he or she won’t commit suicide.

Severe — Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. Says he or she will commit suicide.

If a suicide attempt seems imminent, call a local crisis center, dial 911 or the emergency number in your country, or take the person to an emergency room. Remove guns, drugs, knives, and other potentially lethal objects from the vicinity but do not, under any circumstances, leave a suicidal person alone.

Dove - posted on 08/24/2014




My oldest is only 12, so I don't know how much help I can be... If they were threatening suicide I would be calling 911 or driving them to the hospital myself to have them under watch and keep looking and pushing until we found the mental health help that they need. I'm not sure how much 'power' you have in this situation considering she is an adult already though... other than calling 911 and requesting they keep her for observation.

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