How can I make my husband understand that staying home with 2 kids under 2 is not easy?

Chiara - posted on 10/07/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My Husband is always making me feel like im never doing enough, like staying home with the kids involves laying on the couch all day doing nothing, or the fact that they are not on a stricted schedule makes him upset. we do the same exact thing day after day not always the same times, I hate that some men just think or dont notice the house clean or toys get picked up day after day oh and some how a meal just lands on the table,or clothes have been washed and butts cleaned....... It makes me look at him differently when he says all these things, I start to hate and resent him, And on top of everything since hes on his feet all day cutting hair he just want to sit for the rest of the night, doesnt lift one finger at home not for the kids, or ANYTHING else....but hey he pays all the bills RIGHT?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/08/2012

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Take Saturday off. Do a "you" day. Tell him that you have this planned (get a group of girlfriends or whatever), and that you'll be leaving by 7 am, and that you'll be home around 6 or 7 pm.



Then GO! Don't leave him with any instructions, don't leave him with any tips...just leave enough diapers/formula/prepared food so that when he gets totally desperate, he won't feed the kids candy just to shut them up.



The other way to approach it is this: Don't do anything more than make sure the kids are fed and changed for a couple of days. No laundry, no cleaning (yes it will drive you batty), frozen meals for dinner, and when he asks why, you can say "you asked me what I do all day...well, the last couple days I haven't done it".



My hubby never did get that way when he was the worker and I was the stay at home. He always made sure to compliment me on at least one thing a day (even if it was that I didn't burn dinner LOL), and to do his share when he was at home. Now that he's the stay at home, and I work full time (granted, the kids are grown), I make sure to notice when he does things like make my coffee for the morning, and to do my share when I'm home...although to be honest, he is the better housekeeper than I am, most days, and definitely the better cook, so he's a MUCH better stay home mom than I was...LOL



The point is, it's all about respecting each other's duties. When my hubby worked full time, I'd get up with the kids for the night time woes. But, when he was off work for a few weeks due to disability, and I was working full time, he made sure that he told the boys to wake HIM rather than me for those things. I don't know, maybe ours is a strange marriage!

Vie - posted on 10/07/2012

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It's not easy to be a full time mom. They think that you're just doing nothing. You should let him stay with the kids at home even for once.

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