Caroline - posted on 04/25/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )
I had a short intense relationship with my daughters father. He tried to rape me in my sleep when the relationship began to fail and we split 5 months before she was born. I have witnessed him touching and scrutinizing her genitals on several occasions but judge says this is clumsy paternal affection! My daughter has seen him on 3 weekly basis since birth due to living 150 miles apart but now he has new partner and baby on way and judge has ordered she must stay with him on a 3 weekly basis and half of all her school holidays. She sobs into her pillow at thought of going with him and leaving me and her two brothers but up till now has gone quietly and meekly on days out with him. Judge has told me it is time I grew up and cut the apron strings and it is not for children to tell us what they want to happen, they should do as adults tell them. My daughter will be 5 in June. Her eldest brother is suffering from depression over this, as am I and to be honest I sometimes think I have completely failed my children and maybe they would be better off without me. I always wanted my daughter to know her father and rest of family but we have been so happy as a family till this court case. Now our lives are filled with confusion and uncertainty. I can't see a way out of this and it seems nothing we present to this judge is going to make any difference. I talk to my daughter about her right to privacy when dressing/bathing etc but at this age its so difficult and her only concern is that I won't be with her when she is so far away.