how can i stop bedtime takin hours

Charlene - posted on 07/01/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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im having trouble gettin my 21 month son off to sleep at bedtime, i start at 7:30 he has a drink of water and then i pick him up hold him in my arms with his bedtime blanky and i pat him bum and bounce up n down till he driffs off it took me about 10/20 mins great, now as soon as he has a drink of water and see's me with his blanky he knows its bedtime at hates it he starts to stiff hes body and does that silly cry he does carm down after 2/3/mins then he is just layin in my arms staring up at the celing at thats all he does i knt get him to close his eyes, by this point my hand and legs are tired from bouncin and pattyin for about 30/40mins and still he's not alseep but by this point he is board and he want to get down,i dont give in i still hold him, but i did try somthing eles, after holdin him for 30/40 mins i take him to his bed and i lay him down all snuggled up and i pat him bum and all he does is keeps sittin up and makes his funny noises at me, i incore him lay him down and start again but no he keeps doing it so i pick him up again give him a cuddle in my arms, same things happens he just lays there starin at the celing get board want to get down. so i end up bring him into my bed which i know is bad and i lay with him for hours last night took me from 7:30pm to 11:20pm. but the thing is though i dont understand because he goes threw the night if im beisde him wen he is in his room he gets out of bed comes to his stair gate thats on his bedroom door and starts cryin really loud shakin the stairgate till i go to him but he will not get back in his bed. i have tryed alsorts of thing but is there anyone that could give me any ideas what to do, thank u for readding x

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Charlene - posted on 07/01/2012

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also yea my rises are startin to stiff and hurt when i hold him, but hopfully when he start talkin to and i can communicate with him and he know once mummy has left the room its bedtime, i just fell right now im suck because he is not talkin i cant tell him whats happening and ask him to choose a book.

Charlene - posted on 07/01/2012

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thank u to you both for your help the only proplem is that my son isnt talkin yet so i find it very hard to communicate with him, but if i keep showin him things he does pickl it up like i said above, he has seen me night after night get his night time blanky and turn tv off he knows its bed time. its really hard to teach my son things when he is not talkin yet so i knt say to him pick out a book ect.. because also he dont know what a book is, he just wants to eat it lol.but a good thing is that he has always had a routine right from a newborn, his routine is dinner is a 5:30pm then bath a 6:30pm and after its winding down with a nice warm drink cuddles and kisses then bed.

its funny though because i have never had a problem with my son ive always felt lucky with him, but i do think it is because he is gettin older, but i did try something today, my son always has hes nap around 11:30/12 and he sleeps for 2 hours, well i stoped that today i only let him sleep for an hour, woke him up and carryed on with my day and its got to 7pm 40 mins ago i started puttin him to bed i gave him a cuddle like ive always done and within 10 mins he fell alspp no problems at all put him in bed a 7:15pm, im just hoping this is not a one off lol.

also the thing about letting him cry its very heart breaking also i hate hearing him gettin himslef into a state tears and snot running all down hes face, because even though he's in the next room cry for ever i still knt switch off im hearing him findin it very hard to chil out for 5 mins then go and check on him i know its something that i may have to do.

Elfrieda - posted on 07/01/2012

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You might need to just leave him after he calms down the first time, but before he gets bored with all the rocking. 21 months is too old to be bouncing him for that long, you'll kill your back and wrists! (I know... I had a very heavy 9 month old when I refused to bounce him for almost an hour anymore. He had to learn to go to sleep on his own. But do you get tingling in your wrists, or sharp pains when you turn them sometimes? That's from all the bouncing. Now, almost 2 years later, my wrists are all healed, so if you stop soon you might not have permanent damage.)

I think that as he's grown, his sleeping needs have changed and he's not able to fall asleep when you're jostling him. You might be keeping him awake, instead. If you do decide to let him cry it out, maybe you could put a soft blanket right at the babygate at the door so that if he eventually falls asleep right at the gate, he'll still have something soft to sleep on.

Just as an idea, here's our bedtime routine for our 2.5 year old. It hasn't changed much since he was about 18 months old. New diaper, pajamas, brush teeth. All of this takes place in our bedroom on the main floor. Then the person who isn't on night duty makes a sippy cup of water for him and places it on the banister for him to grab on the way up. He is carried up (I'm starting to rethink this, as he's heavy and is perfectly capable of walking), grabbing the sippycup on the way, guzzling water, and waving to the other parent. Then we're in his room, he gets a certain number of stories (I do 2, my husband does 1), he helps get the room ready by turning on the nightlight, turning off the overhead light, turning on the fan, closing the curtains (after spending some time saying goodnight to the wall, the cat, the clouds, the trees, etc.), and then he gets plunked in bed. I sing him a few songs, and offer to tuck him in (sometimes he likes getting tucked in really tightly, mummy style, other times not) and say I love him and goodnight. I take his cup away with me again as I leave, and I close the door. He often is awake for 5-45 minutes afterwards, depending on how exciting his day was and how tired he is. He talks to himself and sings and sometimes tries to trick us into coming back ("Snack?" "Poopy bum!") but overall is pretty easy to ignore until he goes to sleep. He can choose which stories he wants to hear and can choose if he wants to help get the room ready or be tucked in, but he gets grumpy when he gets to request songs. I think it's too much power for him and he feels anxious or something because there are too many options. And obviously he can't choose how many stories he gets, we'd be there all night!

Alicia - posted on 07/01/2012

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Unfortunatly you may have to just let him cry it out. When he gets out of bed, put him back & tell him its time to go to bed now and just keep doing that until he stays in bed. Thats what we've had to do. Its hard because you dont want hear him cry or you feel bad because he is crying. As long as you keep your routine, it will eventually work. Right now he knows as long as he's awake you will be right there to either pat him or cuddle him & if he stays awake he knows he can get into bed w/ you becuase you're tired and dont want to listen to him cry any more.

Maybe start bedtime at 7:30 like you do, but put him to bed and read him a short story, even let him pick out the book ( I would let the girls choose between 3) then tuck him in and read to him. Maybe that will calm him down & relax him enough to make going to sleep a little easier.

I hope this helps.

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