How can I stop my 16 year old girl from driving me crazy!!!

Anyisa - posted on 03/01/2017 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am a single mom of a 16 year old girl. The past two years have been so stressful. She is my only child. Since she met this boy a year and a half ago I have seen drastic changes. This boy now 17 and has no dreams. My daughter went from honor roll to failing and ditching high school. I moved her to another school recently and found out she continued to ditch. Now she wants to drop out and get her GED. I guarantee he would do the same. I have taken her to counseling and even a child psychologist. She continues to be disrespectful and can only think of doing the GED program. This has all been troubling for me. I know it is a unhealthy relationship. She wont talk to me so that is the reason I have her in counseling. Any advise, I feel like I am going crazy!!

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Lynn - posted on 03/04/2017

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At this point I think it sounds as if your daughter is testing you and pushing to see just how far she can go. You are her mother not her friend and you need to set boundaries. She is still a minor and you have the upper hand. I would start by grounding her and not allowing her to go out. Take her phone away. Give her opportunities to earn her freedom and your trust. If she has no set boundaries then she is just going to continue to play you. She is still a child and does not know what is best for her. And this boy certainly isn't. She may hate you for it now but in the long run hopefully she will see that you are helping her. Be strong and dedicated in your path. Good luck!

Ev - posted on 03/01/2017

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I have to agree with Sarah. What consequences did you provide for her ditching school and why did you not keep an eye on her comings and goings? I am not sure that all the counseling in the world is going to help if she is unwilling to cooperate. It does not sound like she has an issue that a counselor needs to address but that of a parent...but I am not a licensed expert. I just know that as a parent of teens (mine are adults now) I had to set the rules and make sure they stuck to them when their dad did not cooperate with parenting.

Sarah - posted on 03/01/2017

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Why do you allow her to continue seeing this boy. What consequences have you tried for the ditching and poor grades?

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Sarah - posted on 03/02/2017

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I am shocked the school was not more attentive to reporting unexcused absences. I get a call by 9:30AM if my kids are not present in class. Can you request the school contact you for each absence?

Anyisa - posted on 03/02/2017

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Thank you for your reply Sara-I had been given advise not to forbid her from seeing the boyfriend then she would go behind my back and do it anyways. Since I have heard the relationship is unhealthy one I got her into counseling. Also she is always saying she has anxiety and she is depressed. I am trying to figure out what is true and what is manipulation. Her father committed suicide way back and I want to cover all my basis. I do think she also knows this and uses it to manipulate me. Any feedback on that would be helpful.
Thank you for the reply Ev Witt-She drives my old jeep, so that was taken away from her and I took her off my cell phone plan. She still has a phone she bought so she can get internet off WIFI when she has it. I drive by the school each day and see the jeep there but she was not there. I did not get notified from the school until the 7th absence.

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