How can I stop my Best friend from giving me used dirty baby clothes?

Rita - posted on 02/18/2012 ( 14 moms have responded )

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One of my best friend's has a child about a year and a half older than mine. She loves to bring in clothes to work and give me them. The problem is they are dirty and worn looking. I keep taking them and putting them into a good will dumpster. But this is getting old I ride around with the clothes in my car for weeks till I spot a dumpster. How do I tell her I don't want her dirty worn hand me downs?

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Jodi - posted on 02/19/2012

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See, I think it is poor taste to give filth encrusted clothes to goodwill too. I wouldn't dream of dumping my second hand clothes in a goodwill bin in that condition. I always wash them first. If they are unwashable, then they are trash, not goodwill, material.

[deleted account]

What I meant was, you obviously know where some of the dumpsters are, because you've used them. So keep using them. And again, that's just what I would do. I also have to say that I don't understand why you would never put your daughter in stained clothes to play in. So you're saying that if you buy her something brand new and it gets a stain on it, she never wears it again? Seems wasteful to me. Stained clothes (whether they started out new from you or were hand me downs from someone else) make great play clothes. It's an excellent way to recycle AND save money. Anyhow, best of luck with however you handle the situation :)

Kate CP - posted on 02/18/2012

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I would tell her "You know, it's so sweet of you to think of us but we have enough stuff and I would feel SO much better if we donated it to GoodWill. That way I *know* some one is getting good use out of it and it's not just sitting in the bottom of a closet."

Tinker1987 - posted on 02/19/2012

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I would have to agree with Jodi. if they are that bad like crusty as you say then they belong in the garbage. Good will would only throw them out as well,at least thats what they do here. they only keep the decent condition things.

Tinker1987 - posted on 02/18/2012

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i feel your pain. my mother in law tried giving me my fiance's clothes from when he was a baby (yes from 24 years ago) and they all went to the garbage.accept i kept a few things for keepsakes. ive been given second hand clothes. i keep whats nice but trash what is dirty and staind. I think next time just flat out say No thank you i have SOOO many clothes,why dont you give them too good will? kind of thing.

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Kelina - posted on 02/19/2012

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I agree with Little miss, it's also the route I would take. When she offers them to you just say thanks so much but I have way too much right now, the dresser and closet are full. Maybe try goodwill....? and see what she says. just make sure she knows you appreciate the offer but don't want them. That way she can doesn't feel like you're rejecting her.

Kate CP - posted on 02/19/2012

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Yea, if she's giving you clothes that are stinky-smelly-dirty...that's gross. I may point out to her that while you appreciate her intentions that it's actually a good way to spread disease by not washing clothing before giving it to a person.



That's how bed bugs, lice, and crabs get spread around. :/

Stifler's - posted on 02/19/2012

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oh yeah it's odd that she would give you clothes in such bad condition. i would just put them in the bin at home if they are that bad and not say anymore. she will eventually run out of things to give you.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/19/2012

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You can just tell her thank you, I am over whelmed with so many cloths, that you do not need any more.

Rita - posted on 02/19/2012

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If I could take a picture and put the dirty stained clothes on here with the crust from the filth on here you might undestand it.I am not talking a little stain. I am suprised the clothes don't get up and walk away. And sorry I don't know where the bins are I'm lucky if I remember where I live when I go out. Some of us are not great with directions, so I do have to drive around for a week and when I spot a bin I use it. I just would be too embarassed to give someone dirty clothes and just wanted to see if someone had a similiar experience, and how they handled the situation. Thanks for all your help.

Amanda - posted on 02/19/2012

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You must not have to keep the clothes for weeks, as once you know where one goodwill box is why would you ever need to look for another one?



As for the clothing just keep doing what you are doing, thats what friends do.

Rita - posted on 02/19/2012

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I would never put my daughter in clothes stained with filth even for play clothes. And I don't know where all the good will dumpsters are, I just moved to this area. I am just suprised that she would give me dirty clothes. I would be too embarrassed to give my friend dirty clothes. At least make an effort and try and wash them first. I am just really shocked that she just puts them in a bag and doesn't even go thru them. We both have really good jobs, so it is not like she is helping me because of financial problems. I will just keep finding the dumpsters I guess.

Stifler's - posted on 02/19/2012

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Take them home, sort through them, keep some for painting in and playing outside and take the rest to the Brotherhood. That way it won't hurt her feelings that she doesn't recognise any of the clothes your kid is wearing. Well that's what I do. I have way too much stuff for my kids due to people like this, giving me large boxes of stuff plus my MUM buying so much new stuff that "she saw on sale and was so cute etc.".

[deleted account]

Honestly, she's probably doing it to be kind and has nothing but the best of intentions. I'd not do anything because it will probably hurt her feelings. Stop leaving the stuff in your car for weeks. You know where the Good Will dumpsters are. She gives you clothes, sort through them just in case you find something you can use, and then take the rest to donate. Something to remember is that as your child gets older and needs play clothes, you may rather them play in worn, stained things than the nicer, newer things. Just a thought. My son has a TON of used things. Some of the used things are nice enough to wear to school, etc. Some of them are worn and stained and he only wears to play in. That way, nothing nice is ruined :)



Edit: That's just what I would do though. Only you know your friend and what type of honesty she can handle. If you feel comfortable saying something to her and are pretty sure she wouldn't get her feelings hurt, then that would be ok too.

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