Louisa - posted on 11/19/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )
I have a friend who I've known for a short amount of time. She has two children, one is 8 the other is 10 months. This woman is from Colombia where words and vocal tones are harsh in general so naturally her constant yelling rakes on my nerves but I could deal with it if I didn't see how it's destroying her 8 year old daughter.
If the 8 year old does anything wrong, I mean like clinking a glass too hard or getting distracted by the TV, my friend (the Colombian) is yelling at her and telling her she's going to hit her. Sometimes she actually does. I can see the way this little girl just shuts down and feels like a total failure. She never gets any praise even when she's asking for it (and deserves it). She's desperate for love and she's not getting it.
My question is, other than adopting her and taking her back to the US with me (love to but can't), is there anything I should do for her besides show her as much love as I can while I'm here (visiting Peru)? Should I talk to the mother about the effects of certain kinds of abuse on a child even though she is already seeing a psychologist about it? The abuse was much worse five months ago when she started seeing the psychologist but she still even yells at the baby! The whole family (extended and all) acts as if the 8 year-old is an adult who just refuses to mature. They don't seem to understand that she's still a child and can't be expected to be perfect.