How can I stop the hitting?!

Angela - posted on 11/21/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )




How do I stop my 5 year old from hitting? It's not so much hitting other kids, but adults, and mostly me as a reaction to correction and/or conversation she doesn't want to deal with?


Sharlene - posted on 11/21/2011




You need to go down to your child's level and in a calm voice and say no hit ,give them 1 warning ,if the continue put them in time-out chair or corner by the mins of there age, still continueing with behavior then grounded them ,Your child is not young either for this, or a way I used with all my was a reflection drawing or story of there behavior, and if you have to go to ground them if they have toys in the room,take all toys out of the room. I hope this might help.cheers

Krista - posted on 11/21/2011




Hm, that's a tricky one. Hitting seems to be her way of expressing her displeasure with a situation. I think you need a two-pronged approach, here. You want her to know that hitting is NOT an acceptable way to express herself...but you also want her to know what IS an acceptable way.

My recommendations would be to talk to her when she's calm, and maybe just tell her about a time when you were angry about something, and something productive you did.

e.g. "Mommy was SO mad when that man cut in front of her at the grocery store! I just wanted to explode. What do you do when you're mad at someone? Let's think of some ideas. I know! I could have told him, "You cut in front of me, and I don't like that." OR, if I couldn't say anything to him, I could make myself less mad by singing the alphabet song to myself in my head! What else can Mommy do if she's mad?" Work with her to come up with a bunch of alternative ways to express and/or dispel anger.

And let her know that it's not acceptable to hit, and that if she does hit, it's an immediate time-out. And enforce it, consistently. No arguing. But maybe about 20 minutes after the time-out is over, you can say, "You were really mad at me, huh? But when you hit, you go in time-out, and that's no fun. What else could you have done to let Mommy know you were mad?"

I think if you work with her and keep showing her better ways to express her emotions, it'll make a difference.

Good luck!

Tamara - posted on 11/21/2011




I always grabbed their hand and said we don't hit and put them in time out yes it made it worse at first, but consistency is the key. Also remain calm and don't loose your temper, i know this one is hard when your getting hit to not loose it for a few seconds. You can do it and all will be ok :)


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Elfrieda - posted on 11/21/2011




I think she might be old enough to help you think of a way to stop her from hitting. Sit her down when you're having a calm time together and talk about her hitting and how it's such a bad habit and how she needs to stop herself from doing it. You explain that you are her mom, and it's your job to help her learn to control herself. Maybe she will have a good idea for a consequence that will make her think twice before hitting, maybe not. I think that you need to look at what she's like before deciding what the consequence will be. If she's social, it will be a big punishment to send her to her room. If she likes playing with "My Little Pony", it'll really hurt her to lose a horse for a week.

No matter what the consequence is, I think you need to decide on something and stick to it. Do the same thing every single time, and re-assess in a month or so. Ask: Is it working? Do I need to change the consequence?

I wish you luck. My parents had to deal with my little sister scratching me and other kids whenever she lost her temper. Finally she did stop, and I think it was because they finally just laid down the law, "whenever you scratch, this happens, no matter if you drew blood or 'accidentally scraped' someone."

Angela - posted on 11/21/2011




Obviously the wrong thing, lol! It's a mess really. It can range from grabbing her and trying to get her attention as I tell her to not do that again. Or, I try time outs, but she fights those and still hits. I try to use a firm voice, but I probably end up yelling/spaniking her hand. I feel bad about all my ways, but I'm being honest, which is why I need help! I don't want her to turn into an abusive teenager/adult if I don't nip it in the butt now!

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