how can I win custody of my kids

Melvina - posted on 04/04/2012 ( 17 moms have responded )

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Y is he trying to get custody if he knows he will lose?

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Julie - posted on 04/04/2012

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Get a family solicitor ASAP. Also he cannot deny you from your kids. You need to fight this man. Also contact womens aid, they are great for helping womens like you who have been abused and will help you in the right way. Remember to log everything also. Make a start now buy calling womens aid and good luck!

[deleted account]

Do you have a trail (police reports, witnesses, something) of the abuse? I'm not doubting you, but if he's an abuser, has a good lawyer, and you left your kids.... they can probably make it look pretty bad for you if you don't have documented evidence of some sort.



Get a good lawyer asap and tell him/her everything you can.

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17 Comments

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Augustin3 - posted on 08/30/2012

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Sounds like a tough situation... At this point you left the children and set the status quo in his favour. At this point, he is the primary care give of the children. You might want to try hiring a lawyer and negotiating with him because if you get infront of a judge, the odds are against you.

Julie - posted on 04/05/2012

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You need to fight him through court, its the only way, dont let him make u feel weak, be strong and start a custody battle, if it were me i would have gone round the house by now banged the door down and took my children.Don't be scared of him! go and get your kids, pick them up from the school gates they are your kids!

Melvina - posted on 04/04/2012

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I know I left my kids but the thing is that he won't let me take them tried,I 2 take them!he didn't even let me go 2 them, he said take ur daughter, I told myself maybe if I stayed what would happen maybe he would of killed me! I went 2 a shelter after I left n they said u have 2 call the cops n tell what happen so I did so thjats on record. I tired 2 get them back in everyway! I even called this place called a womans places they help with stuff like this. They all told me I have. Take him 2 court 2 get them back! I want my kids so bad! I cry every night over them! I wait until my dauighters sleeping n I just cry hard. I know I have 2 b strong for them.but I just niss them so much, the way theyr hair smells theyr smiles, hugs n kissem I use 2 watch them sleep night! N times I think god give them 2 me 4 a reason!

Julie - posted on 04/04/2012

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You defo made a mistake leaving the kids which im sure u know but i also know how men like him can reduce you to nothing, get inside your head and make u do things u wouldn't normally do. You would defo have more power if the kids were with you, but the key here to to fight to the end of the earth to get your kids back and never give up!

Laura - posted on 04/04/2012

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I am not sure where you are but leaving without the kids was a big mistake. And they are correct on the abuse to you ...it does not affect the custody if no harm has come to the children.

Susan - posted on 04/04/2012

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You need to be sure the judge knows that HIS mother has the kids--not him. Most states will honor your rights over the rights of a grandparent. The sticky part will be that you left the children in his care. Good luck and I hope you get your children back.

Melvina - posted on 04/04/2012

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Thank you so much! I am trying everything in my power not 2 let him win. I need my kids 2 grow thinking everyone has a voice. I am so happy I had my childern. But I need 2 get them out of his moms home. I think r trying 2 turn my kids against me. I told them when I left that moms coming back 4 u.

N I am I am going get my kids, I am so scared of him. He think I am not going 2 court for my kids I have support to go to court! SO I am not going 2 b a lone.

Julie - posted on 04/04/2012

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Hi



He is doing this to you so he can carry on bullying you, he is trying to control you DO NOT STAND FOR IT. I have been there my ex still tries to control me today but doesn't stand a chance in hell. You have to be strong and stand up to him. Do not have any conversations with him unless its about him picking the kids up. If he contacts you for anything else other than the kids record his phone calls and save his texts, also report every single incident to the police and if he carries on being abusive you would have built up a strong enough case to get an injunction on him. Mothers have more rights than fathers anyway he doesn't stand a chance of taking the kids off you as long as you are a good mother that provides for them. The more he does these things the worse he will make it for himself, you can even set up access in a contact centre for him if you dont want to put up with his crap. REMEMBER, log everything and build up a case and also get a solicitor to send him a warning letter, i have a great one. Be smart and show him who is boss!

Melvina - posted on 04/04/2012

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I do have some reports n I do have a good lawyer. But I made a statement 2 the cops , what he done 2 me n my daughter! I've been trying 2 think I wil winl custody! He told I can't use that he was abuive 2 me or his drug problem or that he drinks all the time. My kids r being left with his mom. His aunties told me. Oh he has a bad record what he done 2 other girl friends n other people!

Melvina - posted on 04/04/2012

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This is my story, I was in a abusive relationship wIth father of my children for going on 8yrs. But he tired 2 get me 2 sign over my kids 2 him. I told him no! He said if I didn't give him custody that me n my daughter would have 2 leave, so I did I left n he won't let me take my kids with me. It was the hardest thing 2 do. I love my kids! I called the cops on him n cfs but they couldn't help me than I had 2 go 2 court for them. A couple of days ago his lawyer give me papers saying that he was going for sole custody! It broke my heart! So iof some1 can help! Plzzz I need it thank u melvina

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