How can there be a "normal" when it comes to toddler milestones?

Stephany - posted on 01/02/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello everyone! I have a 2 1/2 year old boy who seems to be behind. I'm so frustrated. He has a language delay & says single words & makes lots of sounds & squeals. We attend speech therapy & occupational therapy. He runs & jumps & is very active. He sleeps & eats well & my PAT lady tells me he's gifted due to his problem solving skills. I'm so tired of reading what he "should be able to do". I worry that he's on the autism spectrum because of the language delay & the fact that he still chews on quite a few things (although he's still getting his molars). However my son is very affectionate & has great receptive language when he is selectively hearing. I'm tired of being worried. I just want to be able to love my son & enjoy everyday of his life regardless of whether or not he is or isn't behind. Does anyone else have similar feelings?

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[deleted account]

DON'T WORRY so much!
My sisters son- we never thought he'd be 'normal' because his speech was so delayed and when he did begin to speak- for a few years no one could understand what he was saying.
Also we thought perhaps he was somewhere on the autistic spectrum. I saw my sister silently grieve about this, not wanting to talk about it, and she worried so much.
He did some speech therapy.
Now it's years later and he is like any other teenager. No learning problems, no more speech problems, no social problems, no psych. problems.
Look into speech therapy.
Don't torture yourself with worry like my sister did. Sometimes things just gradually go away.
And don't ever think you're doing anything wrong or are to blame! (Mom's like to beat themselves up sometimes.)

Ev - posted on 01/02/2014

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You are welcome. My own son was much like yours in a lot of ways and a friend told me once when he was very little that he would do things on his own time frame and that holds true for a good portion of kids. There is an average that goes with each age and set of milestones. Unless your son's doc is worried about development or you have a concern, then I do not see the need to worry so much. You are your child's best source of information on how he is doing. If you are anything like me, you just know when things are right and not right with your kiddo. No matter the relation of others, they do not know your son like you do. If you keep that in mind, you can not go wrong. One note: Even to this day, my kids' father still uses my son's delays as an excuse to explain his actions away. From my point of view, its normal actions of his age. I know my kid.

Stephany - posted on 01/02/2014

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Thank you. You have helped. Sometimes it's just nice to hear someone say that it'll be ok. I only have 1 son & I love him so much & want him to be able to be everything he wants to be. The people in my life are divided. About half tell me he's perfectly normal just a little behind. The other half tell me to be prepared. I really don't think there is anything wrong with him-he is strong willed & does things in his own time. 90% of the time I believe that...the other 10% of the time is scary & lonely. Thank you for listening.

Ev - posted on 01/02/2014

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It sounds like he is doing well but for the speech delays. A lot of boys his age do not use two word sentences and make more gibberish than girls of the same age. Boys develop slower than girls do. Milestones are a group of things that are expected of kids by each year. But they are not expected to meet them at that particular age. Some do things early, others at the right time and others a little behind. Just because a child is somewhat behind does not mean they are not typical or normal. You have to understand that each child is unique and develops at their own rate in their own time. So because a child is behind some of their peers does not mean they have Autism or other sorts of delays. In fact, my son was three before he was well understood in three to five word sentences. And for three year olds that is average anyhow. I hope I have helped.

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