How can they judge???

Tiffany - posted on 05/05/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Ok... I remember the time before my kids. Being in the grocery store or something and hearing a child throwing a fit or being super loud, seeing the older kids running around acting like terrors... I remember thinking "seriously people, how the hell hard could it be to shut your kid up and let the rest of us shop in peace?"... horrible I know...



So, knowing what it was like without children, I now can not understand how someone with NO children can judge someone based on things that their children do the few seconds they see them in a store. I have heard from people, with no children mind you, that the way my kid behaves in public, NO MATTER the circumstances, is a direct reflection of my parenting. My kid could be sick, tired or just bored because we have been running errands all day, yet because he happens to have a bit of a fit, which I find to be normal for 2 year olds, I am a bad parent??? WTH??? I just don't see how they have any idea what us moms go through, especially stay at home moms, since they have no children. Am I wrong for feeling that way?

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10 Comments

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Schyla - posted on 07/27/2011

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So My 3 and 5 year old were perfect angles all the way through the store to pick up milk for the baby and the baby slept right up until we got in line to check out and then all hell broke loose suddenly the girls got a case of the gimmes and the baby woke up wanting another bottle that conveniently was in the bottom of the diaper bag in the bottom of the cart and I couldn't get around the holy terrors to reach it. and the "sweet" little old lady behind me makes a comment about a lack of parenting. I turned on the lady and loudly proclaimed LOOK lady I have just about this much self control left I am so glad it's been so long since your own darling angles that you've forgotten what checkout line hell is so kindly keep your rose colored opinion about your little fire breathers to yourself. then I paid popped the bottle in the babies mouth and walked out while the cashier was left to deal.

User - posted on 05/05/2009

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I got through it too. I have a special needs child, and I have heard all the rude comments. I have made a scene telling people off, and I have ignored some. I usually say dont voice your opinion until you have walked in my shoes. This world is full of ignorance.

Tiffany - posted on 05/05/2009

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Well, sometimes I would love to go to the store without my children, and when I can, I do. But there are times I have no choice but to take them or not go at all. My hubby is military, and we are stationed in Germany, so I have limited times to be able to go to the store. If my hubby isn't here and can't get here, there isn't much choice... bad mood or not, they have to go with me...

Stevie - posted on 05/05/2009

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not at all yes it is anoying to hear a child screaming their head off even for another mother but i understand it sometimes i do still think like that when you just allow your child to rule over you and they run crazy around walmart or another super market but i understand now the difference more so from a good parent that cant do much at that point in tme for a fussy toddler or baby cuz we have already done everything we can do and the parents who cant keep their child under control if they wanted to but i know how it is when ppl just look at you cuz either they think your to young to be having a child or cuz for one second your baby is crying for their bottle and you dont have it out just yet or something along those lines and yet you dont see them with a child and yet they have the nerve to stop you and tell you how to take care of your child

Jeanne - posted on 05/05/2009

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Some people judge because they think they know it all. I was a childless shopper and I didn't judge others. When one of my kids start pulling a fit I simply pick up and leave, but I do that so as not to inconvenience other people and I don't want to hear "my my can't you control your children?" which my personal response to is: "Mind your own business." I am a stay at home mom as well, after experiencing being a career woman, a working mother so to those who say "Control your kids" I say walk a mile in my shoes before going on and on and on.

Amanda - posted on 05/05/2009

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Not at all.
I use to think the same way. But only cause most parents would let their child RUN around the store screaming. They didn't try to calm them down or anything the LET them do it.
Thats the only reason I ever thought that way before kids.
I still do, Especially when I see a mother just standing there ignoring her child when they are running around the store knocking things over and screaming.
Some parents do try to control their children. But Sometimes It;s probably best to not take them with you to the store knowing that you child IS going to behave like that. Sometimes it's not really avoidable and you HAVE to take them with you.
My son LOVES the stores, He loves going out. I'm just happy he hasn't hit the terrible 2's stage yet and wanting to run around and scream.
And when he does. I wont be taking him around the stores anymore lol

~Jennifer - posted on 05/05/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:

LOL! Last time someone had the nerve to say something to me about how my son ( who is on the Autism spectrum) was acting / screaming - I simply took him out of the cart and handed him towards her saying " If you think you can do it better, take him home with you"
Yeah.....she shut right up.


oh....and I also have a shirt for him that says:



" I have Autism - what's YOUR excuse?"



No one really says much about it anymore.



;)

Dawn - posted on 05/05/2009

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I try not to worry so much about what the other people are thinking. Like you said, no one knows what kind of day your child has had but you and anyone worth your worry would not think that about you they would know better. People will always find something to talk about you just enjoy your child and do the best you can in the store and life goes on, children grow up.

~Jennifer - posted on 05/05/2009

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LOL! Last time someone had the nerve to say something to me about how my son ( who is on the Autism spectrum) was acting / screaming - I simply took him out of the cart and handed him towards her saying " If you think you can do it better, take him home with you"
Yeah.....she shut right up.

Emily - posted on 05/05/2009

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How can they judge? I think you answered your own question- because they have no clue! I was that childless judgmental shopper once too.

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