How did others go about deciding whether the have another baby or know their family was complete?

Tabitha - posted on 01/22/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My husband and I have three children, two together and one from his previous relationship. My step son is almost 5 and lives with us 50/50, our son is 4, and our daughter is 14 months. I thought we were done, but now I just can't imagine not going through everything one more time.. My husband would be perfectly content being finished but says if I wanted another, it would only be fair! I can convince myself on so many levels to not; I have only student teaching left to my bachelors degree but am a SAHM and have taken off because I've gone as far as I can without leaving my children, I want to have a career someday, we are financially comfortable with the three we have, I have trouble seeing our daughter as NOT the baby (but I had the same thoughts with my son)... But then it's as though my uterus just screams at me! Ha just wanting others insight! :) (BTW we have been married for five years, I'm 26 and he is 29)


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/22/2014




You and hubby need to have a heart to heart. His ambiguous "i'm ok with not having more, but if you want more, I'm ok..." isn't going to work. Sit down, and discuss it. You are young, you don't necessarily need to have another right NOW, and there's time to think.

Personally, hubby & I discussed it ALOT. From the time we started seeing each other, we discussed kids, if we wanted them, how many, etc. He wasn't totally thrilled at first that I did want kids. He'd been in a horrible marriage to a woman who was truly psycho, and was paying support for his alleged daughter. He wasn't sure he was up to that whole type of a mess. I told him that, no matter what, we'd co parent, we'd both be in the child's life, etc...but part of that deal was that we were going to be married, and I consider this relationship a lifetime commitment.

So, we discussed some more, and decided we'd try for 2, stop at 2, and be happy with 2.

24+ years later (we've been together 25, married for 24 this year), we have two awesome boys. the eldest is on his own, thriving in his adult life, the younger is finishing hs, and ready and rarin' to tackle the world. Do I miss having a girl? Not on your life. I have two of the most wonderful blessings a mom could want. Do I miss having more than 2? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! LOL. Two was perfect for us. One parent per kid. If both had simultaneous activities, they each still got a parent in attendance, etc.

Honestly, its a discussion that only you and hubby can have, and you cannot accept "compromise" in this discussion. You're either both for it, or not.

Good luck!

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