How do get my 14 month old to sleep through the night?

Jessica - posted on 01/08/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My 14 month old daughter struggles to sleep through the night. I think I can count on 1 hand how many times she has slept through the night since she was born. She has been sleeping in her crib in her room since she was about 8 weeks old. She has a consistent night time routine and goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 every night. She puts herself to sleep (I do not put her to bed already asleep). And she loves to sleep! She will even tell me if she wants to go to bed and I'm not moving fast enough.

However, she consistently wakes up between 11 and 12 every night. Occasionally she will just whine a little and toss and turn and then go back to sleep, but more often than not she will toss and turn for hours and progressively get more and more upset if I don't go in and rock her or give her a bottle.

I know she is old enough that she should not need a bottle in the middle of the night. I have reduced the amount of the bottle down to no more than 2 oz, but it seems the bottle is the key to get her to go back to sleep.

The other issue is that just when I feel like I'm making progress and we are getting closer to getting rid of the night waking (I won't have to give her a bottle until around 4 or so in the morning), she goes to see her father for a night (she has 1 overnight with him every other weekend) and we are back at square one when she comes back home.

I'm at a loss for how to get rid of this night waking. Any help or suggestions is welcomed and appreciated!

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Susan - posted on 01/08/2013

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Hi there.
Like yourself, I had huge problems getting my little man to sleep through the night, in fact he was 18 months before he did!
In regards to the night bottle, it's got to go... ...it will be hard, but dig your heels in as she does, and I think eventually this will stop.
When she does wake, go in and see her, just say no bottle, sit by the side of her cot, eventually she'll get the message, they're such intelligent individuals, they'll realise mummy's going to win and they're going to lose.
I can't imagine how awful it must feel her going to stay at daddy's, perhaps she's a little to young for this, remember how easily routine can knock them for six, as in when she comes back from daddy's, would it be possible for her not to go, and see Daddy at a different time, so she's not away from her main home?...
Hope this helps...

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Susan - posted on 01/22/2013

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Hi Hun...
So happy to hear that all is going well. I no exactly where you were at in regards to the non sleeping, fantastic, you go girl!
As far as your ex is concerned, he will just have to adhere to what you do, it will make life so much easier...

Jessica - posted on 01/22/2013

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UPDATE: Thank you ladies for your support! It was a rough week of my daughter screaming for 2-3 hours each night, but it worked! She now sleeps from 7:30 - 5:30/6! I do still have the issue when she returns from a visit with her father, but I was able to get her back on her schedule after a few days. I have spoken with him and he *says* he is following the instructions I gave him on what to do if she wakes up. I can only hope that is true. Regardless..things are better. :) Thanks again!

Dove - posted on 01/08/2013

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My son didn't night wean until he was 2. With her having an overnight with her father once every 2 weeks.... you may just have to wait until she is older and better able to reason with to get her to settle herself in the middle of the night.

You can not control what he does or does not do with her. You can suggest it, but it's his call whether or not to listen.

Good luck, hang in there, and have patience! :)

Susan - posted on 01/08/2013

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Oh honey, that's awful.
I really feel for you, hopefully as time goes on, things will get better, just make sure he adheres to your rules, ie, if the bottle stops, it stops when she's with daddy, and so on.
Good luck, got my fingers crossed for you...

Jessica - posted on 01/08/2013

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Thanks Susan! I really appreciate the encouragement. I know you are right, that bottle has to go! I've got to have better will power and not let her win the battle! :)

As for the overnight with her father.. it kills me. She doesn't want to go. She cries as soon as she seems him. But unfortunately I can't do anything about it. The courts require me to allow him the overnight every other weekend and he is to selfish to see that it is hurting her.

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