How do I co exist with my mother in law and her opinions on parenting?

Stephanie - posted on 05/04/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I am a half full person, she is a half empty person. She says she is just being real, I say she is being harsh... I take the positive approach. I am a firm believer in lifting someone up rather than squashing them with criticism.. I have worked very hard in building my husband up from his past with her... Since my son has been born, I have heard from her a million things I am doing wrong....... that bottles gonna rot his teeth (at 9 mnts), he will be sleeping with you when he is 14...every choice I make she has something to say about it... This has been causing a lot of problems because my husband is a momma's boy just as much as he loves his wife... he feels torn between us... I get offended and hurt and feel like I am a failure... 15 yrs we tried for our miracle boy...my tubes are tied...I get one shot to do this parent thing right..and I really do wanna do it right... I want so much to co exist with her but she never can keep her opinions to herself...this is coming from a mom that put her kid on ridaline... and then jokes 1 for you 2 for me....OMG..are you freaking serious.... already saying that my son needs meds because he is just being a boy....a boy mind you that is who can recite the 1st 11 presidents and know very big distinguished words.... I become protective because I do not like her labeling my son and predicting a negative future for him because of me...T-ball for instance.... he really wants to make his family proud...so he runs for every ball mowing other children down...starts crying when he doesn't get the ball...... I tell him that it is a team sport and he cant get them all and that is what his team member are for... you are all on the same team....(he says, I am not doing a good job) and wants to quit and he get emotional and doesn't want to play...instead of letting him be a quitter.. I explain what a team is and walk with him to the dug out and sit with him...and show him how fun it can be to root for his team mates..back in the game he goes with a smile.....after the game... she says to him that he is not old enough to play the game...WHAT? I say... he is 4 yrs old he will get it.. she comes back with you dont see any of the other parents having to sit with their kid in the dug out... I was under the impression it is my job to guide him...his life is his classroom...and I am his biggest teacher...so I say BULLSHIT! now cuz of my big mouth...she wont come to her grandsons games...which I feel bad about..yet again the silent treatment and the tension is present.. she says things like...well I cant say anything to my grandson...listen...say all you want to him....with a caring compassionate positive way...go for it...please please do....but don't you dare squash him...the world will do that enough in time...we as his family need to lift him up and encourage him to succeed...not drown him in failure.. . your right the other parents are not yelling at their kid to pay attention, stand up, quite playing in the dirt....4 and 5 yr old are such a hoot... not a one has it all together for goodness sake...but some of the parents are too busy in the bleachers gossiping as their kid is acting out or have their head down into their phone texting....while the kids act out...the coach is too busy to guide my son cuz he is running after his son which seems to have the most issues... any parent would agree that Tball is a 3 ring circus...because they are ALL learning at their own pace...learning so many skills out on that field....I see how my son looks back at me while on that field... always looking for something from me... whether its approval, dis-approval, acceptance, guidance or a good job... just as I see the other kids looking at their parents for the same thing.... our eyes always meet because I AM PRESENT...I think that in itself means more to my kid than I will ever really know.... .I lost both my parents at 27 and now at 39 of course I want her to be proud of me and my mothering skills. just once I would love her to praise me, instead of squash me.....most of the time I am confident that I am doing a way better job than she EVER did... I mean how do I respect her opinions when my opinion was that she was not the best mom when my husband was a child...even though she has over came a lot of it. She says I am not being realistic that I will not be able to be there to solve all my kids problems....which she is right about...however...he is 5 now...and still learning the do's and dont's... I feel he has to be taught before I can expect him to handle situations on his own... is that not my job? if I don't guide him, will he know how to make good decisions? am I being to over protective.? He starts school in the fall...he will be on his own... I feel it is necessary for me to instill in him all I can to approach life and make good positive choices...

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