How do i confront a nosey parent?

User - posted on 03/15/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Theres a nosey parent who's son is in my daughters class, we are suppose to be friends but i dont really know her that well, she sorta pushed herself on me to be friends and i went along with it. She constantly ask me personal questions and its making me uncomfortable.

She tries to do everything i do and its annoying me . I am currently taking some cake decorating classes, all of a sudden she wants to do that. I also started making hairbows and they are a hit, she told me she wants to see how i make them WTH? She listens to my conversations with the teacher after school and then later on ask me about it.

We get along good when shes not in my business but i need to know how to tell her about her being nosey and asking me all these personal questions. I dont wanna sound rude but at the same time i want her to know that she is crossing her limit. HELP!

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/16/2012

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Patricia, this isn't an excuse for her, but perhaps she admires you. Perhaps you're the mom that has it all "together" in her eyes, and she is trying to get to that point in her life?



Maybe she is looking for a group of friends. Is she new in the area?



Granted, it's unacceptable in any circumstance to push yourself onto someone like that, and you need to just be honest with her. When she mentions it, say "well, no, we haven't, because to be honest, I was feeling a bit pushed. Maybe we can have coffee next week." If you set boundries for her, and gently keep her within them, you may find a fascinating person underneath.



Or...LOL...you can start dropping off nearly at the bell, and picking up in disguise...



Melissa, I'm on the same page...for me it'd be "Hey, lady, what's the DEAL???" Nah, not really, but I'd be tempted...

Melissa - posted on 03/15/2012

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Hobesity is the best policy. I'm the type to not sugarcoat anything and I say exactly how I feel so I probably shouldn't give you any advice because it will be blunt. But if you beat around the bush she may not get the hint.

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Melissa - posted on 03/20/2012

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Oh no ma'am!! I would not allow a friends child to act that way to another child and not confront it. I believe in it takes a village and I have no issues with pointing how a childs behavior is disturbing, rude, or lack of good parenting. If she cannot stand up to her own child for being that way to another child she has some serious issues and probably that's why she has no friends. You do not need "friends" like that.

Stifler's - posted on 03/19/2012

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I can't I avoid answering the phone and wnt to shoot myself when I am around her.

User - posted on 03/19/2012

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How do you deal with it? I have never been in this situation before, im not sure if what i say may sound rude or if im dealing with it the right way.

Stifler's - posted on 03/19/2012

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I have a friend like this. It's insecurity they know it's cool to do it because you said you were going to, so they do it and ti's like they do it to get in first and feel better than you.

User - posted on 03/19/2012

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Shes not new, shes actually been around more than i have been. Both of us are new to the school though.

At first i thought she does admire the things i do, how i am with my kids etc. I am her friend, i sat with her and listened to her problems when school just started and i will still do that, if she needs me i am here for her as a friend but i have known her 6 months and she makes me uncomfortable with the questions she asks me. I do not get into her personal business.

Some examples would be, at the beginning of the school year i told her that i asked to volunteer at school but they told me i cant volunteer in my daughters class. The next week she went to the principal and told the principal that SHE wanted to volunteer in class and they gave her the ok, she never told me she was interested in doing that. I didn't say anything but from then on i realize she takes whatever i tell her and put it to her use as if she came up with it.

If i tell her i do not like cake, she would say me too, if someone else comes to her and say oh i love cake she would say, oh me too! lol



Fitting in and needing a friend is completely different from what she wants, if she does she isn't doing it the right way. Being nosey and always in people business is a huge turnoff for some people.



One of my biggest turnoff from her is when she eavesdrop on my convos with the teacher.

I don't know how to come out and tell her but i know it has to be soon. Its hard right now because i'm currently dealing with her son bullying my daughter, today he spat on her face two times, i saw it. What she said was, oh your daughter told my son she wasn't his friend. Seriously? so he should go right ahead and spit on her because she said that?

That's another prob, she never gives her son wrong for anything and hes always messing with my daughter....grrr



I'll stop because it seriously makes me angry and annoyed.....and this is just pre k! lol



Thanks for all the advice and inputs, i love reading other parents views. Im new at this, school, parents stuff.

Melissa - posted on 03/16/2012

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Sorry you feel that way. Maybe after you clear the air with her you can have a better friendship. Good luck

User - posted on 03/16/2012

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You are right! I am the type to sugar coat things, and be too nice that's why i think she feels like she can ask me anything. I am waiting for her to ask me something then i will confront her. I saw her yesterday and she said i dont call her anymore, its because i always feel like im being interviewed rather than having a nice convo.

Thanks for your help Melissa!

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