How do i cope being a single teenage mom

[deleted account] ( 11 moms have responded )

Im a single teenage mom my dads father is a complete jerk he never even foned to find out if the baby was alive ... my baby is a condom baby and ever since i have been pregnant and given birth i have been treated like a stastic i have never done anything bad to anyone and am really feeling horribly alone i have a great support system which for many girls my age is hard to come by my son is so beautiful and is a month old . but i feel that i cant provide for him the way i should i want to study and have a career . i dont have many friends and am loosing my self
where does a person start to find themselves again ?
please can anyone help me

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Amanda - posted on 05/20/2010

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i am a single teenage mom i had my daughter when i was 15 years old and her father told me he was to young to be a dad and he was 18. i know what its like im 19 now and my daughter is fixin to be 4 and im still single but that dont matter i am doin the best i can for her she has everything she needs and everybody told me that i was never going to make it and i proved to them i can and will it does get easier i promise that you will have your ups and downs even if u wasnt single but u dont need to worrie about being alone just do the best u can for your child u cant make his dad be in his life but u can do it with out him!

Rebecca - posted on 05/20/2010

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oh just be proud of yourself and know that they are the people to be looked down of for having a disgusting heart and know that they arnt perfact and they do wrong at times themselves if anyone says anything to you just thell them to mind their own business

[deleted account]

Thnk you all for your help you really have put my mind to ease thank you and god bless you and your families

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Elena - posted on 04/18/2013

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Just do everything you can for your child. not having the father in his life isnt the end of the world. you have agreat support system. Right now all you need to focus on is you and your son. school work everything you need to do to provide for your son. you will be okay promise. BTW people will always be ignorant and judge but that just says everything about there character not yours. it will all come together. be strong be patient, good luck.

User - posted on 05/20/2010

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I was a single teenage mom many years ago. I remember doing my very best but struggling with every one else's judgements and opinions of my situation. I had help but it was very hard. I decided to define myself as a hard working awesome mom and not let other peoples opinions or labels get me down. I knew what a special gift god had given me and I decided that I was going to feel joy and love about my experience.
My son is 12 years old now and every thing got much easier as time went on. I did hit a few bums along the way but that is just life. Do your best to finish school and focus on your lil ones future! Best of luck and many blessings in your new chapter in life as a momma!

[deleted account]

Just love her and love yourself. Pray about it. I can't imagine how it feels to raise a child on your own it's got to be one of the toughest things ever. Just remember your child needs you so you have to be able to give all of you. When you have days where you feel the world is caving on you take some "me time". As a mom and wife my hubby and I even have those days. We set a side one day a week where our daughter goes to her Auntie's and we get our time. Every mom goes through it single or not. But in the end when you see a beautiful child that is now a grown up it's all worth it. Just hang in there ride the waves pray the prayers shed the tears and live life to the fullest with your little one by your side.

Rebecca - posted on 05/20/2010

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make sure u have some me time everynow and then i am a single mum and im only 21 everynow and then she stays at her nannas or grandpas but it just gives you that time to rejuvinate i found i could never get any house work done with her home unless she was asleep so it gave me time to get that done i think all mums feel like they loose themselves a bit but at the same time it is a discovery to a new part of yourself! maby have a night out once a month with your friends? its not like you have to do anything dramatic you could go out to the cinima or out for dinner people dont need to spend alot of money to provide well for children im lucky as my mums friends gave me lost of hand me downs that were expensive brands lucky me and i am a great bargin hunter and buy in bulk so i never run out and im not a impulse buyer i like to look around first and see what my options are.. having sed that i worked out a age that i though would be sufficent of my daughter for me to start looking for work again not that iv had any luck but it has led me to starting my own business!!

Nicole - posted on 05/16/2010

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I feel bad that you feel terrible and resentful, but what's done is done now and all you can do is just take this experiance and learn from it. Keep in mind you just had a baby so your hormones are all over the place and will be for the next couple of months. Just hang in there and stay positive. You will get through it. Hey I'm 32yrs. and I had to tell myself that after each of my babies were born. No one said Motherhood was easy that's for sure.

JuLeah - posted on 05/16/2010

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Hi ... welcome to motherhood. No matter you age, mothers' deal with these issues.
You were just starting to figure out who you are when you became a mother, so 'finding' yourself will be a bit more challenging, but you will muddle through - find your path - most all mothers do.
As a teen you likely can't fully provide for him. Our society is not really set up for that. It takes a village to raise a child, have you ever heard that? No one should, ought to do it alone. You do need help and lucky for you, you have it.
One day you will be helping another person along her way. That's how it works.
You are tired, confused, dealing with hormones, tired ... we are all treated like a number once in a while - I am a 'woman with a disability' I am also 'a Jew' I am also a 'single parent'

Sometimes the labels help us get what we need, sometimes they limit us. Take what you like and leave the rest. No one gets to define you, but you.

All mothers struggle to not lose themselves, keep up the fight. Stay connected with peers (other young mothers) and keep hold of your dreams - write them down, read them every day, break them down into small steps you can walk.

You will make it - thousands of mothers became mothers at your age - it was once the norm and in many countries, still is.

[deleted account]

Thanks Nicole it does give me comfort i just hope it gets better soon as i cant keep doubting myself and feeling so terrible and resentful

Nicole - posted on 05/16/2010

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Well, I'm not a single teenage Mom, but I am a Mom of two and I can tell you that your beautiful baby boy is a gift from God no matter how he got here. I totally understand about loosing yourself after you have a baby I think it happens to every mother out there and trust me when I say it does get better. Don't worry so much about what other people around you think of you just be the best mom and rolemodel for your son that you can be. You are so young and have your whole life ahead of you and you can provide a great life for your son just believe in yourself. Enjoy your son now and cherish every moment because they do grow up so fast. I hope this gives you a little comfort.

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