How do i cope with my boyfriend finding out his ex has his baby

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

I am a mother, and me and my ex split. He didn't have any interest in our baby. So he left. I found this great guy, we have been dating for 2 months and i really like him. He is great with my baby. But in the 2 last day his ex got in contact with him and said that she had a baby and its his. It looks exactly like his other daughter he has. Even since he found out he doesn't seem to care about my daughter or me. He is more concerned about spending all his time with his ex. I've been heartbroken before and i don't want my baby getting too attached if he isn't going to pay attention to her equally. Could someone please give me some advice. I want to stay with him, but at the same time i need to think about my daughter and if staying with him is going to hurt her.

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Ev - posted on 03/31/2016

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I agree with Sarah on this one. She has the right advice. Besides stopping the rotating doors, you need to actually stop worrying about having a man in your life for a while and concentrate on your child. I do not say this to be mean but because she needs you more than you need a man. Let the men take care of themselves. They will still be there and available when your daughter is older and is a bit more independent of you not that she won't need you after she gets older. Children need a stable life and boyfriends coming and going is not a good stable life style.

Dove - posted on 03/31/2016

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You've been dating this guy for 2 months.... Your child shouldn't have even MET him yet. It sounds like you got way too involved way too fast. This is more drama than you need and way too much instability for your child. Your daughter does not need a revolving door of men in her life. You need to wait until you are in a solid, stable, long term relationship before introducing her to anymore men... this one sounds like too much drama for only 2 months. Make better choices... your child is depending on it.

Sarah - posted on 03/31/2016

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Two months even without kids is too early to be sure relationship is going to last. If he feels obligated to try again with his ex and wants to parent the new baby then that is his business. You say your ex left because he had no interest in his baby? Too bad, he is obligated to at the very least support a child he made with you so file for child support and offer him visitation so he can get to know his child.
According to your profile your child is just one year old, too young to remember having had her father leave and a new man come in and leave her life. You have to stop the rotating door and settle down and work on co-parenting your daughter with her bio-dad, or by yourself if he refuses to visit.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/31/2016

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full agreement with the others, with this addition: Why would you even consider a man who wasn't fully involved with his own children to begin with? He's only showing that he is a PARENT, after all...of course he is going to have more interest at this point in his biological children over a kid that his gf of less than 3 months has.

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