How do I curb sibling resentment?

Ashlee - posted on 12/01/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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How do I curb sibling resentment? My step kids come on the weekends (ages 5 and 9) and they're down right mean to eachother. The older one bullies the younger one and uses every opportunity to make her feel badly about herself. The younger ones seeks her attention by being "annoying" and clingy. It's so bad that when the younger one so much as rubs up against the older one she shudders and complains about it. I've tried to talk to them about empathy, being kind to eachother and the importance of family but, it seems like just when I'm getting through to them they go home for the week and come back with the same poor attitudes. The older one is fabulous with our daughters. She shows them love and snuggles them and is an all around great sister so I know she's capable. Forcing them together doesn't work. Pulling them apart makes it even worse when they are together. I'm at my wits end. I don't know what else to do.

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Michelle - posted on 12/01/2012

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Unfortunately both households need to be consistent and it sounds like that isn't happening. Is there any way all the adults can get together and come up with a plan to deal with it? Maybe even suggest everyone go to mediation so it can be discussed in a neutral location.



I have done shared care with my 2 oldest ones for over 7 years and from a young age I taught them the rules at my house. They understood that Daddy has different rules (make that no rules) but they knew that they had rules with me. Maybe write up a list of house rules for everyone to follow and have it where everyone can see. That way there is no excuse that they didn't know.

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