How do I deal with breaking up with my sons father?

Kristina - posted on 03/11/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




Recently broke up with my sons father it was mutual. His backround is not pretty he owes back child support for a daughter he never sees, he's been in jail , was addicted to herion, he doesnt own anything or have a bank account right now but he wants very much to be in our sons life but Ican't fathom having him away from me overnight the thought alone scares me. Im hoping somebody has some helpful advice. My son is 19 months old and his father is a good father to him for the most part...How do I deal with this???


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Estefania - posted on 05/13/2016




My boyfriend of 5 years who I have a 2 year old and I are seperating. We were fine or so i though and out of no where he tells me he isnt in love with me anymore that he needs a break .His mother doesnt like me and has always told him he could do better she thinks Im to ugly for him always critizing me we are from 2 diffrent cultures henis albanian and im hispanic and his family didnt want us together this has always had a strain in our relationship but we have pulled thru . Yesterday he told me that he feels like he is in the middle that he feel bad because his mom is miserable with our relationship and she is never gonna let it go. And that he wants to move make her happy. She cries to him and tell him to leave me on a regular basis and its finally getting into his head. Im so hurt I feel like she finally got her way . I have been going thru so much emotional distress and anxiety I feel like my son is going to be affectes with this they are so close and I dont know how Im going to deal. It hurts me and make me upset how he is willing to put his mom before our son . Im upset that he doesnt want tonat least try to make it work . I understand that maybe this break will be good for us . I will never stop him from seeing his sin But i dont want my son to have nothing to do with this lady . Im in the procces of searching for a place i dont know how my son will deal with his dad not being around and being in a new place. I love him and im so hurt because i have given this man my all for the past 5yrs and he just wants to let it all go I feel like i did something wrong and failed in keeping our family toguether

Christina - posted on 03/11/2012




this is a hard thing. i delt with a slightly different situation but the same too. my ex loves his son. i dont agree with his past or some of his present. but if yall were to ever go to court the judge wont care what you want if he looks like a good parent point blank. if a court gives him visitation and you dont go along with it, that will fall on you and you only. its not a happy situation but it is reality

Tara - posted on 03/11/2012




Talk to legal aid in your area if you can't afford a lawyer - then hash out a visitation plan.

If your son's father wants to be in his life then I see no reason why he couldn't be in his life, BUT, on your terms. Since it appears he is involved in things that would be dangerous for your son then set up the visitation so that it is supervised if you are more comfortable that way - make it clear that there are no overnight visits because of your concerns about the father's life/habits. If this man really wants to be in his son's life he will accept that, until he cleans up his act, any time he spends with his son will have to be on your terms so that you can guarantee your son is safe.

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