How do I deal with cliques in my daughter's 1st grade class?

Patricia - posted on 07/25/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My daughter has been back to school one week and she's already telling me about times when she's feeling left out at school. When I ask her who she plays with, sometimes it's one girl sometimes she's all alone. There's a group of girls in her class she's been friends with since last year. She's also in Girl Scouts with them. They are excluding her now which I find disturbing. I tell her she should look for other girls to play with, but as we all know girls tend to be very cliquey and she doesn't feel like she belongs to any group. I feel so sad for her. She's a bright, kind, empathetic girl who always includes others but also can be very independent. She's the youngest and smallest in her class, so I know she feels a bit inadequate about that. I'm not sure what to do to help her. I know she'll have to deal with mean girl behavior her entire life, but as her mom, I want to ease her pain at school. She loved school last year and never wanted to miss a day. This year is another story. I know the moms of some of the girls who are displaying the cliquey behaviors. I think I will casually bring it up at our first Girl Scout meeting and perhaps we can make it a teachable moment about not excluding friends, and how feelings can get hurt. Not sure how that will go over but it couldn't hurt, could it?

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Ariel - posted on 07/25/2015

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I understand what you're going through. My little girl dealt with the same things. I think number one, make sure she knows just how loved she is at home. It's always tough to not have friends or be left out. It's much easier to deal with if you have a loving family waiting at the end of the day. If it's possible to get her in a team sport or activity in your town that would help. I know you said she's in Girl Scouts, which is great, but if even their mom's are being cliquey... Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Talking with them could certainly help! It's never a guarantee, but it could.
Also, if you have any other mom friends, your daughter and their kids could play one-on-one, which takes away them being with their normal friends and more likely to become close.

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