How do i deal with my Boyfriends Ex Wife?

Rachel - posted on 06/25/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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They have a 5 year old daughter together and I recently moved in with him. I also have a daughter she is 4. When i First arrived things were good between us but as time passed she began judging me and how i parent my child. Keep in mind that I have been a single parent for the last 4 years and I dont do it very well. This is the first time I have had real and constant help with my daughter. The ex wife Has told my Boyfriend that She thinks i am a bad mother and a bad person. I would like to be at least friendly with his ex for their child so that she doesnt think that i dont like her or her mom..I just want us all to be happy. Any Suggestions would be Great appreciated. Thanks :)

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Rachel - posted on 06/26/2012

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I am not very good at discplining my daughter..I have tried time outs and they dont work..sometimes i get so frustrated that i yell. I have been potty training since my daughter was three and she has several accidents..sometimes i forget to make my daughter brush her teeth..my boyfriends daughter see this and tells her mother. The ex wife doesnt even really know me. I havent tried talking to the ex wife yet cuz i dont want to over step..Not sure if its Appropriate.

[deleted account]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I haven't been in your position before, but I am sure other moms can give you more personal advice.

You might want to be the "bigger" person and extend the olive branch first by reaching out to this woman, as a mother, and someone who will be in contact with her daughter. Like you shared with us, a bunch of internet strangers, share with her that parenting doesn't exactly come easy to you (trust me when I say it doesn't come easy for many of us), and perhaps ask her for some tips on various issues. Ask her about her daughter's interests, likes/dislikes, favorites books, what to do in down time. Share with her that it's an adjustment form single oarenting to having a partner. She may be more sympathetic as opposed to thinking you are a bad mother. What exactly made this ex beleive you were a bad mother?

Like I said, be the mature grown up adult and reach out to her. Thent the ball is in this woman's court whether she sees you as an ally or an enemy. Good luck!

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