How do I deal with my ex and his wife?

Emilie - posted on 01/03/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Maybe I have never gotten over the fact that he was with her before me and him were divorced, but Me and my ex and his wife just don't get along. She acts like she hates my kids and don't even want them around, she gets my 9 year old that is actually immature for his age to take care of her 2 year old. The don't have proper beds for the kids. And they are always cussing and talking about stuff that they shouldn't be and my kids have already been molested while in their care and I just don't trust them. I told them that they can't get the kids any more the last time they went there they came back covered in mud and the fact that their power had been cut off and the kids had to sit around in the cold with out any power and heat. I told my ex and his wife that next time they should just bring the kids straight home instead of making them sit around in the dark with no heat and no way to make food, and they started cussing at me and calling me names and they said that it was none of my buisness. But it is my buisness when my kids are involved and I just can't get them to understand that. His wife won't even let me talk directly to him. Everytime I call to talk about the kids and to try to work something out she won't even put him on the phone.

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Jodi - posted on 01/04/2012

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Have you had CPS involved in this situation at all? It sounds to me like the kids shouldn't be anywhere near the place.

Also, leaving a 9 year old at home alone, let alone in charge of another child, is illegal in many places.....call the police.

Krista - posted on 01/03/2012

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If supervised visits are in the agreement, and he keeps breaking the agreement, then as far as I'm aware, you are under no legal obligation to actually surrender the kids to him for visits.

I know you can't afford a lawyer, but have you tried calling legal aid? Sometimes you can get some pro bono time, especially if it's just to answer some questions or get a bit of advice.

[deleted account]

Go to court and have a visitation agremeent set up. Present the molestation evidence and push for supervised visitation.

Ossie - posted on 01/05/2012

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Stop going around in circles with this simple man, i think you are blessed to be rid of him. Take him to court and get full custody of the kids, get them a medical examination to prove molesttion and if he wants to see them make it on your terms or not at ll. Especially let them know about the 9 year old babysitting a 2 year old. Leave this simple minded man alone.

Clare - posted on 01/04/2012

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Youdo not need money to get a solicitor involved. Call the police! They will investigate the molestation and brings charges against those involved as well as ensuring your children receive emotional support.

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Christy - posted on 01/03/2012

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Go back to court. They should not be with him at all, esp since they were molested in his and her care!

Emilie - posted on 01/03/2012

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we already have an agreement in place, we have gone to mediation 3-4 times already and he never follows the agreement and that is why we keep having to go back. He dosen't even beleive that the kids were molested and won't agree to suppervised visitation and I can't afford a lawyer, so the only way to do it is to go to mediation and try to agree on something, but like I said he won't agree to the supervised visits.

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