How do i deal with my partners young son?

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

My partner has a 3 yr old son who was rather easy to deal with when we first got together but over the past 4 months has turned into the devil. we have him 3 weekends out of every month. he cries, bangs on the doors and floor if he doesn’t get his way, he is aboslutely not disciplined, my partner cant even go out to the bins outside because his son goes absolutely mental if he opens the front door. He also refuses to sleep every night. Both my partner and I are exhausted and end up not talking most weekends because we argue over his sons behaviour. I feel like I cant cope, I don’t want to end the relationship but by the end of each weekend I hate his son, and dread the weekends coming up, its now gotten to the point where I just leave for as long as I can during the day and spend the rest of the time in silence. please help :(

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Dove - posted on 08/22/2012

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Honestly.... he sounds like a fairly normal 3 year old to me. Add to that the fact that he only sees the man 6 days/month and his world is rather rocky in addition to the normal difficulties of a 3 year old.

He needs firm and gentle discipline when he freaks out and patience and time while he outgrows this very normal stage of development.

No good judge is going to take custody of a 3 year old away from his mother for throwing an age appropriate fit. That's absurd and I could've lost custody a million times over if that were the case.... even though there WAS and IS discipline in this house.

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Chaya - posted on 08/22/2012

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Get the childs behaviour under control, if mom isn't willing to cooperate, petiton for custody. If you video his behaviour, you will not likely need much else.
You need to love that kid, as hard as it seems, if you can't work with the child, the relationship won't likely work, you'll end up resenting each other.

Michelle - posted on 08/21/2012

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Unfortunately his terrible two's have hit late, discipline is the only thing that is going to curb this behavior both you and your partner need to sit down and create a plan for how you are going to deal with this behavior when the child is with you. My daughter tries this stuff but she knows that all it is going to get her is sent to the naughty step or off to bed when she behaves this way. Unfortunately the more you play into the behavior and give him attention for it the more he is going to do it. Pick a form of discipline and stick with it, this is not a quick fix but it will work if you and your SO are both on board.

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