How do I deal with the separation from my baby when I put him in his nursery?

Toni - posted on 01/21/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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What do I do about how I feel? I worry so much about everything; Will I hear him cry?, Will he miss me?, What if he stops breathing?, Will I be able to get to him in time if something happens? I guess I worry too much but I just can't help it. He's my 1st baby and he was so hard to make I would die if anything happened to him. He is 3 months old, breastfeed and he sleeps through the night. He has always slept about 5 - 6 hrs. in his bassinette which is right beside my bed, to make for easy feeding. I only let him sleep in the bed with me if I want to sleep in a bit. I think he is ready to sleep in his nursery.

Thank you

Thank you

7 Comments

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Dora - posted on 01/21/2011

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Your feelings are perfectly normal and not because your a first time mom but because you love your child and there is nothing wrong with that. If you are not ready for him to be in his own nursery then don't do it. Why rush it if your not ready. Don't listen to others who tell you how to parent. Just remember one thing......they are only little once and the time goes by super fast. My husband and I used to hold our son on our chests all the time and just let him sleep there. We heard it all on how he will get used to it, etc......... Well guess what he never got used to it and grew out pf it. He got to the point where he just wanted to sleep on his own. We have noticed that about everything with him so we both agreed to never rush him. Also don't worry about the independence. Our son is now 2 1/2yrs old and wants to do everything by himself :( He even wants to put his own clothes in his little hamper, get his own milk, dresses himself, tries to put his own shoes on, etc.............The clock ticks and it keeps ticking and it ticks way too fast. Enjoy every second with him.

Lissa - posted on 01/21/2011

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I would also like to add the feeling of needing to be sure they are fine doesn't go away mine are 13. 6 and 5 I still check that they are all breathing and safe before I go to sleep every night :)

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I know how you feel, but I am also wondering why you feel he needs to go into the nursery at 3 months, here it is recommended that babies are in mom and dads room until they are at least 6 months. We did this and found it helped reduce the anxiety of him being away from us. Also I still use my monitors and my son is now 16 months old, I find they give me great peace of mind as I know that if he cries or wakes I'll hear him :-)

Nadia - posted on 01/21/2011

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i completely agree with everyone's comments. if you're not ready there is no harm letting him sleep in your room a bit longer :) i know there are sooo many "guidelines" and "rules" out there that says to do this that and the next thing at whatever age... don't feel like you're doing something wrong if you want him in your room a bit longer!!! but if you really feel he's ready then yes, try maybe just daytime naps in his room. as for how you're feeling, i thinks that's normal! i now have a second little one (5 months) and i'm still as worried as i was with my first! we just started her in her own room a month ago and i wake up numerous times a night and check on her. i also still check on my 4 yr old just to make sure she's ok! children are so precious... it's only natural to worry about their safety, especially if you've been waiting so long for him!

Lissa - posted on 01/21/2011

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I am wondering if you feel upset at the thought of putting him in his own room why do you feel you should? All of mine slept in a cot in our room until they were one and transitioned well into their own rooms after that. If you aren't ready to be separated from him at night don't do it.

Casey - posted on 01/21/2011

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If your really not ready to let go then maybe you should just leave him in your room for a bit longer until you are. Or you could always invest in one of those baby monitors that has the screen so you can not only hear your baby but you can see him too.
I am sure he will be fine in his own room, but I do understand your concerns and I was probably like that too with my first one (it took us 5 years of trying to have him too). Maybe you should try just putting him in his won rooms for days naps first and ease yourself into it slowly.

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