How do I discourage the relationship my 16 yr old is in without allowing the boy to continue to drive a wedge between her and I??

Gail - posted on 03/25/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 16 Yr old and I have always been close and have always shared everything. She has been dating a guy that she has lost herself in. I have been watching her little by little give up everything important to her only to be consummed by time spent with him. I worry constantly that this relationship is so very toxic for her and unlike before in her life I can no longer say anything about it without her shutting me down or out which in turn pulls them closer together.

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Kay - posted on 03/25/2012

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Having been a sixteen year old girl some what recently, you are in very tricky waters. Depending on your daughter's personality, if you react negatively, you could push her closer to this guy (which you've already noted in your question).



Have you considered NOT trying to discourage the relationship? Perhaps if you are very honest with her about the changes that you see, while making it clear that your intention is to make sure that she enjoys this relationship in a healthy and positive way, she would not take it as hard. Like, I know you like Bob, and he seems like a good guy, but I have noticed that you spend a lot of time with him and you have forgotten about Your Favorite Activity. Do you miss it? Things like that?



I am afraid that is all the experience that I can offer. I dread having teenagers someday. Good luck. :)

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