How do I explain to my child who his biological father is and why he's not in the picture?

Sarah - posted on 11/23/2012 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I have a little bit different of a question. I am 7.5 months pregnant with my first child. The father was a man I had dated for a half a year when we accidentally wound up pregnant. He did not handle the news very well. He tried bribing me, and then bullying me to terminate the pregnancy. When I refused, he left. He said he absolutely could not be a father at this time, but if I would terminate the pregnancy, he wanted to have kids with me in the future. Pffft! I was broken hearted for a few weeks, but had to quickly get over it in order to be healthy for the baby I was growing in my belly. I tried for a few months to communicate with him, but he never responded. I am ok with this now, and overjoyed with getting to be a new mommy for the first time. Both the biological father and I are adults in our mid thirties with successful careers. (just for background info). I do not plan on asking for child support or attempting any further contact. My best friend is a wonderful male in his mid forties, and we live next door to each other. He is the kindest man I know, and has always wanted to be a father but couldn't have children. Since we are so very close, I have asked him to be the father and raise this child with me, and he has accepted with tearful enthusiasm. I have a wonderful support system between my family and him, so being a single mom is not scary to me. My question is, how do I explain to this child one day about his biological father? How young do you tell a child that his father is not his biological father and what reason could I give for the biological father's absence? And how do I tell him the truth without giving him hurtful unnecessary detail?

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