How do I fight a recommendation from a social worker

Li - posted on 12/28/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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For the past almost 3 yrs my ex and I have been in a battle. I asked for a modification on support, he retaliated by trying to sue for custody. We have since then done 2 social studies, both times the social worker recommended more visitation with the father, but I am to remain the primary. The second recommendation she said 1,3,4 weekends from Thurs after school until Monday (he would have to bring her to school Fri and Mon, even though it will be over a hr trip). I have a problem with this because that means I have our daughter, who is 8 only 1 weekend in the month unless there happens to be a 5th weekend. Plus Feb-April she would be gone 3 weekends in a row, and would be with my 3.5 days in between. She also has Drama on Monday nights and Karate on Tues and Thurs, so as far as quality time (weekend time I mean) I only have 1 weekend, when he has 3, plus he has her Thurs-Mon. Our original order is 1,3,5 weekend Fri at 6 to Sun at 6. I have asked my attorney what can we do, and she said there's not a lot because judges normally follow a social workers recommendations. He does not provide medical care or medication for her, and a few yrs ago she ended up getting really sick and had to have her tonsils and adenoids out because he refused to give her prescribed medicines. Sorry, I just found this site so not sure if this is the right place to post this :) thanks!!

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If I were you, I'd speak to your ex. Forego the judge and jury and work it out with you, your ex, and your daughter. Your ex was probably freaked he would never see her again. Tell him about the meds she is on, too and give him a schedule list for the fridge. She hates her meds and its not on his mind. Ask her how often she wants to be chauffered about. Remember she is the one that also now has to get up an extra hour early for school. You used to be in love, remember that and that you all three are still family though it is hard. Maybe your ex would like something different too. I have even heard of student doing a month at one school (mom's district) then a month at dad's district. Yes, hard but now you get a month of weekends and so does he. Whatever you three decide - remain calm - and try to make it best for the most important person in all you live's - your daughter. Hope it helps - divorce is really hard on everyone because everyone is sad whether they show it or not.

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